21Jul/10Off
Point Break
The good news is that I'm getting better at taking bad news. The bad news is that I'm not that good at taking bad news - I'm just better than I used to be. Life provides little tests and gut checks from time to time. I had one or several last week and it illustrates both progress and room for improvement.
1Jul/10Off
More New Rules
When I first posted some New Rules back in April, little did I know that drama would find other ways to creep into my life. After living through several different vignettes over the past week, I feel obligated to add some more new Rules for living that may be of benefit to you in how you live your life or at least help you understand how things work for me.
When I originally re-booted TimWoolery.Net - I posted some pretty clear thoughts about the intent of this space and it's bled over into how I communicate with people online. I'm not vulgar or crass but I am direct and people tend to perceive that intensity as abrasive. For me, it isn't so much about being abrasive as it is about being efficient: I'd rather figure out that we're not going to be friends before I invest a lot of time into you. There's nothing worse than spending months or years with someone, only to have them go "You know...I never really liked you in the first place."
9Jun/10Off
UR2RUDE
The Lady read me a Facebook status update that had us both scratching our heads. A teen we both know messaged another teen with the following invite:
We shud hang out 2gether
And an interesting conversation ensued. We weren't confused as to what the message said but rather - why did it bother us so much? Honestly, what do we care about the writing skills of the next generation and how they choose to communicate with us. I did some thinking and some reading and came up with something that I wanted to talk about.
27May/10Off
Creepy!
This has been making the rounds on SFGate and other places. I wanted to share it with you because I think it well illustrates how damaging it is to have a conversation with someone who is being truly passive-agressive. Note how Slavin uses non-verbal communication to antagonize Dan Noyes, even going so far as to get within inches of his face and invite a physical confrontation.
The story of why this happened is interesting but it struck me as a perfect example of how people pick a fight without appearing to pick a fight. It's a calculated, deliberate strategy and it is disgusting to watch. Everyone knows immediately what he is up to but there's nothing you can do about it. Noyes maintains the high ground and although Slavin managed to win the battle, he ultimately lost the war if the comments from SFGate and other places are any indication. How do you sleep at night if you make a career out of being a creep?
I need to go take a hot shower now, after watching this. I just feel sorry for his wife and kids - I doubt they've ever won an argument with him.
18May/10Off
Facebook After Facebook
It's funny - you don't see something this big fail so quickly, but maybe in Facebook's case the world is prepared to make an exception. I predict that the ire about Facebook is growing and will continue to grow until a major change in leadership occurs. Facebook - like GM - is now too big to fail so plan on someone or something finding a way to get past all of the things you are complaining about right now.
Facebook and social networking are where the Internet is going, like it or not. I'm not a fan of it but since I've caught up with more friends and family there in 1 year than I have in 10 years of blogging I cannot ignore its value. Social networking is an example of what I mentioned earlier about 'adding value' - it connects people. Before Facebook you had to be somewhat of an Internet sleuth or a stalker to find old friends from high school - there was a lot of legwork involved and it made you feel like a creep.
So, rest assured, there will always be social networking - how would you see it move forward? That's the real question that pundits across the Internet are failing to address. Nobody has a handle on what social networking should be, they can only speak to what it is. They focus on who's getting VC funding or who has the most Twitter followers. Step back from the noise and look at the big picture. You're bringing everyone together. Now: What do you want to bring them together for?
25Mar/10Off
In Praise of Torschlusspanik
I was rolling across the wetlands between Fremont and Alviso today, reflecting on the article in the Chron about Drawbridge as I was rolling right past it. Drawbridge is the last remaining ghost town in the Bay Area - now off-limits and declared to be a federal wetlands preserve. I went there once before I realized that I was not supposed to go and there's something to be said for the simple beauty of the wetlands and the gentle features of shotgun shacks rotting and sinking into the mud.
Drawbridge exudes that feeling of 'Torschlusspanik' - a fear of closing doors and that time is running out to act. I used to get that feeling and it bothered me a lot whenever I happened to be stuck in a place where I knew I did not want to be. After school in detention on a Friday afternoon, Thursday night in a K-Mart in the middle of a going-out-of-business sale. It's a weird feeling, to be that creeped out about something for reasons you do not completely understand but I've learned to make peace with it.
The value of torschlusspanik comes in realizing that you've done your time with a certain activity or in a certain place or even with certain people - and now it is time to move on. Knowing when to leave is just as important as knowing when to arrive and your head and your heart will help give you clues as to when that time is.
Some people stay for their entire lives in places or situations they don't like because they don't have a developed sense of torschlusspanik. Read or watch "The Glass Menagerie" by Tennessee Williams and you'll see a group of people who are stuck in a rut, some of them fatally, because they insisted on staying when life was trying to tell them to go. If you grow up around people like that, or know people like that personally - sometimes the sad truth is that you have to act without pity in order to escape the trap they themselves cannot get out of.
So torschlusspanik can be a good thing, when used correctly. The opposite of torschlusspanik is that relief you feel when you escape what you knew was a no-win situation. I'll stop here, before I start trying to quote the 'Kobiyashi Maru Scenario' from Star Trek.
Cheers.
19Mar/10Off
Death to Groupies
Oh, for God's sake...
Seriously - do I have to attend a 'Wordpress BBQ'? The SXSW mixer? Do I have to network with people to celebrate this activity I happen to enjoy that only encompasses 1.4% of my life? Is an activity meaningless unless ten thousand hipsters gather at Moscone to Buzz, Tweet and blog about it? Yeah, I'm looking right at you Apple but only because you're a magnet for the type of people I think automatically give social cancer to whatever they interact with.
I'm talking about groupies. You know who you are.
12Mar/10Off
Solve It to Stay Solvent
Weird day yesterday - in the office all of 90 minutes before blasting up to the Mission District for an emergency LCD panel swap. Some parts of San Francisco are awful and some are absolutely gorgeous - I fortunately got the latter yesterday. I love the back streets where your car hood is pointing at the sky and taking off from the red light involves quickly dropping the clutch and hoping you don't roll back into someone behind you. The MUNI cars disappear into strange grass-lined alcoves as you pilot the man-made canyon of San Jose Avenue - small bridges connecting residential streets loom 50 feet overhead.
I didn't know that I would be doing this when I walked into the office - things happen, circumstances change - sometimes in the blink of an eye. I don't mind it and in fact, it's why I'm here. Previously, I would have balked at the change. Why do I hafta do it? Why do I hafta drive my car 50 miles? Can't you just wait for the support tech? Can't you just use your Blackberry? Can't you just, can't you just, can't you just...and so on. It was the wrong thing to do.
So let that be a lesson to the kiddies who are contemplating full time jobs or a solid career path: Sometimes you'll be asked, at the drop of a hat, to step outside your comfort zone and find a solution to a problem you don't necessarily think is your responsibility. Solving problems, being the guy who solves the problem - that's how you add value to whatever job you do. You want to make yourself recession-proof? You want to work your way up the ladder? Be the guy who solves the problem. No complaining; be solution-oriented.
3Feb/10Off
Getting Better All the Time
One of the best pieces of advice I got last year was about managing expectation. I never learned to do it when I was younger and it was a bad habit that colored pretty much every relationship I had. It took a long time to sort that out but now, moving forward, I'm happy to say that I'm much better at it. Case in point, I experienced a disappointing setback with a project that meant a lot to me (details are purposefully vague...deal with it) and The Lady and I spent a lot of time discussing the ins and outs. As disappointed as I was, the advice that Ace and PKT gave me last year came echoing back almost immediately - you cannot change this, so revise your expectations.
The practice I got from living through the dogpatch of my life (too cryptic? 2009 was not a good year for me) made it pretty easy to quietly close the door and move on to something else. What was a very difficult thing to last year is now just a good habit. It's interesting how good habits make the leap from OMGthisisimpossible to just another part of the week - I like that doing the right thing is getting easier for me.
29Jan/10Off
Suffering From Blog Pule
Thanks to the Internet, it doesn't matter how big you get - any half-wit with a WordPress account can spew out gallons of trash seasoned with an air of pitying contempt. Enjoy the following movie clip while the irony soaks in...
I read the following article and it set off in me all manner of angry nittering. Rushfield's previous experience of making snarky comments about American Idol translates into making snarky comments about Ford. I don't know how you do the math on that one but I think the words 'arrogant' and 'hubris' are somewhere just out of sight. Read that article and you'll understand why Paul Boutin (I used to work for and with him at Valleywag) says that blogs need to die, like, yesterday. Why does every new form of communication on the Internet quickly get dragged into graffiit-on-the-bathroom-wall territory?
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