TimWoolery.net Documenting the Journey and the Learning Curve

Death to the Foodies

Why can't this happen to Paula Deene more often?

I'm sorry - I don't know why this upset me as much as it did but I gotta get this off of my chest.  The Food Network, people like Rachel Ray, Paula Deene and the Neelys - please go choke on a coriander-infused, pan-seared marinated fig and die.  Die trying to cough up your cream-cheese and orzo salad ... be buried under ten metric tons of donated ham.  Better yet - lose your gig at the Food Network and be forced to try to make your horrible recipes after working to make ends meet for 70 hours a week.  That's right, you really should use fresh herbs and sea salt from the Adriatic sea but when you're eating the chili mac last night for leftovers, it's time to reach for the Morton's Iodized.

What is wrong with people?

I was prepared to let most of this go five years ago when you started hearing about 'foodies' but it just keeps getting worse and worse.  Julia Child and Martha Stewart weren't enough for us - now there's an entire cable channel airing 168 hours of content devoted to the topic of cooking.  Could you imagine - when you dreamed about the future as a child - that this would be how people would spend their time?  When you thought about what life was going to be like when you grew up, did the idea that people would get this anal and fad-happy about food?

Let the following be a cautionary tale to the modern-day Foodie: We've seen your kind before.