More New Rules
When I first posted some New Rules back in April, little did I know that drama would find other ways to creep into my life. After living through several different vignettes over the past week, I feel obligated to add some more new Rules for living that may be of benefit to you in how you live your life or at least help you understand how things work for me.
When I originally re-booted TimWoolery.Net - I posted some pretty clear thoughts about the intent of this space and it's bled over into how I communicate with people online. I'm not vulgar or crass but I am direct and people tend to perceive that intensity as abrasive. For me, it isn't so much about being abrasive as it is about being efficient: I'd rather figure out that we're not going to be friends before I invest a lot of time into you. There's nothing worse than spending months or years with someone, only to have them go "You know...I never really liked you in the first place."
Your Job is to Add Value

Want to get picked last for the team? Stop reading right here ... I'm sure that there is something much more interesting to read over at BoingBoing. This post is about finding your natural place in the universe and is recommended for anyone who, like myself, doesn't fall into the life that they want.
I've stated before that my life has been a journey of self-awareness and this blog is about what I've learned. I don't want it to sound like a bunch of veiled whining and so I have to work hard sometimes so it doesn't come out that way. I've been able to turn a few corners from previously-held assumptions about life and so, while the experience is fresh, I want to write it down. There's a certain class of people (Me being one of them until recently...) who feel that self-awareness and angst-ridden complaints about how they can't get their stuff together are the same thing. Yeah, yeah - you haven't figured out your place in the world ... DEAL WITH IT. And then get back to me once you do because I'm curious to see what you figured out.
Don't bring me problems - bring me a solution.*
You Are In Charge

There's a great moment in the first Matrix movie where Morpheus imparts a truth that I want to talk about and, sorry to disappoint, but it doesn't involve Kung Fu. Ready? Here goes:
You are only as powerful as you think you are.
If you believe that you can write a book, learn to dance, play the guitar - then you can. If you don't believe you can, then you probably won't. People use this excuse to cheat themselves out of becoming better people all the time.
You Are Your Own Personal Cheerleader

Happy Tr-DO YOU HEAR ME?? HAPPY. TREES. THAT IS ALL.
I used to have a bad habit - would you like to hear about it?
Too bad.
A successful life is based on both what you do and also how people perceive what you do. Leni Riefenstahl was either a brilliant filmmaker or a cheap propagandist for the Nazis. So, also, you can be the most brilliant and talented person at your personal avocation but unless everyone else perceives the value as such, of what value is it?
New Rules
Want to enjoy a happier life? Want to cut down on the crap that puts your shrink on speed dial and leaves you hunting for cheap Mexican vodka at 4am in a ratty pink housecoat? Well, now you can! Here's my amazing new system for making life simple and it comes in 4 easy-to-remember rules, absolutely free.
BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE!
Act now by not responding to this with a bunch of what-if questions, you-mean-to-tell-me-that-if-the-house-was-on-fire hypothetical scenarios and other pointless speculation and you'll be automatically entered into to a raffle drawing to win the Grand Prize - not being de-friended on Facebook, or quietly excluded from social gatherings or being 'that guy' who 'just doesn't get it'. Want to join the hottest party on the planet? It's called the human race and there's no cover charge! Read the following rules and you can start seeing the difference in as little as 2 weeks!
The Nuclear Option

I don't know why I didn't think of this before - To Kill a Mockingbird is one of my favorite novels. The charming tale about racism, friends and the scary guy at the end of the block is generally considered to be one of the greatest fiction novels of the 20th Century. I fell in love with it in the 10th grade and enjoy re-reading it from time to time. And yet, something kinda bumped me about it and it took me until now to figure out what it was.
Atticus - the father of the main character, Scout - never had to exercise the 'nuclear option' of all men. That is, he never had to kick some butt. Atticus never had to resort to physical violence even through he was dropped into potentially violent situations several times. Throughout the novel, he's conveniently saved from having to physically discipline his children (his younger brother does the job for him) and he's spared having to defend his children from attempted murder even through he himself is a crack shot with a rifle.
You get the idea from Mockingbird that violence is the option for those who are too small-minded to think of a more elegant approach. Certainly a nice antithesis to what was probably a steady diet of John Wayne and Mad Men-style misogyny from the 50s and 60s. As much as violence should not be the answer, clearly the world in general resorts to it quite often and therein lies I think one of the problems with understanding what it means to be a guy. You have to know when to go to your fists.