Year 2008 in Review « TimWoolery.net

Year 2008 in Review

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At the start of the year, I was stressing my job situation - I was at Nextmedium, my job situation looked depressing and I had just finally decided to make the leap to look for new work.

In the months that followed, I found a new job and it turned out to be a poor fit for me. Fortunately, the job did put me in a position to move to my new position and my former co-workers and I maintain a friendly relationship. The Lady started one of her passion projects - Niles Chocolaterie - and the results so far have been very exciting. I wish I knew what more to say about the weeks and months of work that brought this business to where it is right now but I'm having a hard time deciding what to say.

I started and ended (for now) my career as a tech blogger. Valleywag was a great experience and I'm happy that I did it, even though it was difficult juggling the blog, the job and life in general. It was great to see something I wrote end up on Gawker next to something by Annalee Newitz. It was great meeting and working with Paul Boutin. Whenever I find a way to get back on the horse, I'll have a better idea as to how the editorial process works and Owen, if you're listening, I promise never, ever to bother you by mail but use Campfire instead.
We explored some different options for personal projects - like the film project "Evacuation" - they just didn't seem right at the time. I spent a lot of time wondering why it was I was committing myself to so many different things.

We had a number of close friends make the leap from the 'friend' category to 'family'. The dynamic has changed for us and it's freed us to take it to the next level, wherever that may lead us. I don't know what more to say than that - it's simply a door I have to walk through, I don't know what's on the other side but it'll be something that I cannot back away from.

We lost some dear friends to sickness and death this year. In the process of dealing with the loss of our friends ... we made some new ones.....But in a good way...

All of this stuff sounds like end-of-the-year-family-newsletter garbage but I'm happy when I reflect just how much we've been able to pull it together and push forward in many new ways. That's not to say it hasn't been a challenge; boy howdy am I not saying that. The simple truth is that it really can be fun to do the hard job, the hard work, so that you can look back from the other side and go "Wow...I can't believe we just did that!"

Things have been going so well for us lately that, frankly, I've been terrified. As if this is the pause before the other shoe drops because when things have been going this well in my life, inevitably it must mean that the bad stuff is right around the corner. It's only recently that I've stepped back to see that point of view for the flawed logic that it is. The truth is, I don't know on how much the success and happiness I've been enjoying recently is related to blind chance, my own personal contribution, serendipity or whatever. I don't know.
What I do know is that to suggest that every good thing that happens in my life is only the counterpoint to the otherwise long catalog of personal failure and loss is plain, silly superstitious nonsense. You have to be open to the possibility of happiness and joy ... otherwise you might find yourself unconsciously bypassing the good opportunities because you're too afraid of being disappointed.

2008 will be known, I think, as the year in which I along with Little Man and The Lady really turned the corner on building the life for ourselves that we want. In a number of concrete, empirical ways, we finished the year SO much better than we started it.
For the first time in a very long time, I'm looking at what is coming up next and going "Yeah - I'm actually looking forward to this." You'll notice on the left that I've re-incorporated the archives of TimWoolery.Net into year-by-year chunks. Looking back through different entries, I noticed in the oldest entries this narrative that was heavy on minor details and fatalistic resignation. I couldn't make positive things in my life so I focused on the small details like concerts and road trips and funny comments I overheard at the office. That was the gestalt of my experience - find joy in the small things because the big things are always sad.

Looking back on it now, I genuinely wish I could wind the clock back and not step away when life was handing me an opportunity to move forward...but then again, they do say that hindsight is 20/20...

What I would take from the experience of 2008 is the idea that sometimes you have to wait for the doors to open and to trust yourself to know when the right time to walk through is. Having been given a chance to walk through some doors that I've been waiting - in some cases over 20 years - to walk through, I feel so much more energized to continue the journey forward and also to be patient while I wait for other doors to be unlocked.

"Nothing is as powerful as an idea whose time has come" - so said Victor Hugo. I unconsciously added something to that saying (incorrectly, as it turns out) and I should have left it alone - I had been reading it as "Nothing is as powerful as an idea whose Tim has come".
The experiences of 2008 are special to me:

* What love feels like, whether it comes from your wife, your son or from other family members.
* The simple joy of a family outing to the zoo and your first carousel ride...or your first train ride.
* The cough and sputter of a B25 or the crackle/woosh of an F18...
* When he's buried into your chest and breathing steadily and you know there's no other place you would rather be.
* The dusty heat of a horse ring in Ceres or the top of Vernal Falls in Yosemite.
* Experiencing - finally, after all these years - the reality of a friend you can talk about anything and nothing with...even at 3AM or while cruising down the 99 toward Stockton blowing your speakers out to Led Zeppelin.

There were many challenges that I faced during the year of 2008. As I close the year and reflect, I know now why I went through them and all I have left is the knowledge that I feel ready to face whatever lies ahead....here's hoping that I am not dabbling in some ironic foreshadowing.