TimWoolery.net Documenting the Journey and the Learning Curve

#90 – Detroit Rock City

#90  - Detroit Rock City

This is an open letter to the Program Director of KITS-FM (105.3 FM) - the alt-rock station that broadcasts in the SF Bay Area, or anyone else in a position to respond:

Dear Sir/Madam/Et Cetera -

Stop. Please.

Seriously, stop annoying me with your sad-sack 'feel sorry for us' campaign. Stop suggesting that rock radio stations are a dying breed. Stop eulogizing the alt-rock format and for the love of God, stop continuing to play those bumpers that suggest we should be grateful that you still somehow remain on the air. I've taken the opportunity to resample some of your broadcasts in the past few weeks and they've left me with one overwhelming conclusion:

If the alt-rock for doesn't go the way of AOR, it will not be because of you and what you are doing to promote it as a musical genre.

You might roundly reject such a statement but do us both a favor and keep reading. If I manage to change your mind by the end of this, I promise that I won't do a neener-neener-neener on you for being big enough to admit it.

I've been a loyal listener for a number of years, going back to the days when you still had Alex Bennett and the crew for the morning show, staying with you through the Howard Stern years, the absorption of whatever was left of KOME and even now in your current radio program strategy. I'm on the way out, by the way, but there's still a chance we can somehow iron out our differences and retain a mutually beneficial relationship.

I've got plenty of beefs with Live 105 overall, but I'm able to chalk most of them up to pique and remind myself that I'm one guy out of 2.5 million people in your potential market. It's not your job to make *me* happy…I'd be satisfied if you could do it maybe 30% of the time. As it is right now, I'd consider myself a happy listener maybe 6% of the time…on a good day, maybe 7.5. What's keeping me from reaching that 30% mark or the giddy heights above? Let me count the ways:

1. Stop Schilling - I know that you're an Infinity station and that Infinity is a corporation that's in the business to make money like every other one, but could you do me a teeny favor and STOP REMINDING ME OF THAT EVERY TIME I TURN ON THE RADIO? Do no-name radio DJ's with less than 5 years of medium market exposure need to be trying to sell me iMacs and mattresses from Sleep Train? I'm not suggesting that you not play commercials; Lord, no - that'd be silly. But having DJ's hock stuff like Lasik or a Mach 3 razor blade is really pushing the envelope. I understood why guys like Howard Stern could do it - they'd already spent years developing their radio personality to the point that I knew their radio shows weren't unduly compromised by some corporate sponsor. When you have your afternoon drive DJ's spending their back announce times to talk about iMacs or whatnot, I'm reminded forcibly of that one scene in 'A Christmas Story' where Ralphie decodes the message to find out that Lil' Orphan Annie wants him to drink his Ovaltine. Seriously…stop, please.

2. Let me hear some of that rock n' roll music - Alt-rock being the great-grandchild of bands like the Beatles, Chuck Berry and Led Zeppelin, it comes as kind of a shock that you haven't re-introduced your music program as a way to educate your listeners about the big wide world of music just beyond the reach of the 'burbs. Sure, you've got bands like Arctic Monkey and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah but bands like them would not exist were it not for other influential bands like the Stiff Little Fingers or guys like Elvis Costello. KFOG doesn't have to have the market cornered on progressive rock acts - it wouldn't kill you guys to have a regular show called "Rock 101A" where you spend a little time educating kids about the significance of bands like the Doors and the Ramones or rock venues like CGBG's, the Whiskey or the Fillmore. It'd give them a little more context when they go to Hot Topic. That brings up another point:

3. Stop being two-faced - Playing MC Lars' "Hot Topic Is Not Punk Rock" doesn't do enough to distract us from the fact that you both are actually in the same business. You can't hate them…you are them. The reason why a place like Hot Topic sucks is because they contribute to the pseudo-urban posturing that too many kids in suburbia are wrapped up in; they look silly…you and Hot Topic help them do that. So don't waste our time telling us what we already know. Instead, go back to Infinity and get some budget toward making your alternative-rock station *really* alternative. Devote a certain percentage of your commercial air time to local indie stores. Just for laughs, take maybe 5% of your listening time and offer a deal on commercials for places that can prove they make less than $100K a year in profit - you would win because you're giving them exposure they wouldn't otherwise get - they win because they get some great advertising and later on when the radio ads make their business skyrocket, they would be loyal customers ready to pay your regular advertising rates.

You make the assertion that somehow you are the arbiter of alt-rock or punk rock. The reality is that your radio station and places like Hot Topic are selling the same thing - you both are taking what used to be counter-culture and making it easily accessible to non-urban people at a price. It's not a bad thing but don't waste your breath pretending that you are somehow above all of that -you aren't fooling anyone.

What You Are Doing Right / Moving Forward

You're already on the right track with the College DJ of the Week program, get some of those kids some jobs in the middle of the night and develop a locally-produced radio show that has content for the local market. Not only would you tap back into the market of listeners who don't really care for a nationally syndicated radio show (and all the homogenized content that goes along with it) but you'd also make Live 105 a station worth listening to all over the world on the streaming audio.

Let's face it - part of the reason I listen to streaming audio and catch all the Euro stations is the cachet of hearing radio being broadcast in another part of the world. I catch Digitally Imported from the UK and had a ball listening to old big band stuff being re-broadcast out of Switzerland. Just imagine the reaction of someone in the EU or Asia listening to a wacky show that mirrors some of the general weirdness of SF and the Bay.

In conclusion - rock is in a state of transition and your radio station would be wise to be at the forefront of whatever this genre of music is about to become. Avoid the mistakes of other stations like KFRC, KOME, KSJO or KRQR - when it comes to rock there is such a thing as trying to stay too long at the party. So, don't get scooped by people like Pirate Cat Radio or, God forbid, KSAN. Change is inevitable - the only thing we hope to do is be on the right side of it when it happens. The wrong side is only too evident - you finish out your career like Ron and Cammy, Don Blue or Darien O'Toole. You are upon the cusp - make the right call and your secure future as the primary Alt-Rock station of the Bay is assured.

Sincerely,
Tim Woolery - Rock Fan

- Tim Woolery - 03/19/2006