Archive 2007
12/28/2007
Over the pass
Never ceases to amaze me how you can be in Reno in 4 hours, when that trip might take you months 100 years ago. ?I bought cables for my snowboarding trip tomorrow - idly thinking of the Donner Party and the heartache they endured to live in this area.
What's up with people who are proud that they don't watch movies? ?As we wind down the year, get the top-ten-movies-of-the-year lists out...I'm surprised at how many people proudly announce "I don't watch movies!" ?Call them what you like, cinema is the literature of our time. ?To say that you don't watch movies is to announce that you are not literate in one of the major genres of human communication. ?Movies entertain but they also examine topics, provide cautionary tales, crystallize the thoughts and attitudes of eras.
On another topic - starting today I'm removing the Family section of the website.
12/26/2007
I made it...
I made it through the entire holiday season without hearing the "Jingle Dogs" or seeing a Chia Pet commercial. ?I win.
Am spending this week catching up on chores at the office. ?The pause before the storm.
Sat with a kid who's mom is very ill on Sunday. ?Monday, took Little Man to Tiburon, where the biggest thing for him was flopping down on the grass and staring up at the sky. ? ?Everyone should be that easy to please. ?Tuesday, made the rounds with different family. ?Watched 'The Blob' - the original Steve McQueen one. ?It's terribly corny, but when I first saw it 25 years ago it scared the pants off of me. ?I wanted to see it again and find out if it still scared me as badly; I was surprised to find out that it didn't scare me at all.
TV still baffles me - is there something wrong with me for not wanted to see a program called "Funniest Commercials of the Year: 2007"? ?How about "Dancing with the Stars"? ?I've often felt that my finger just isn't on the pulse of the nation...I get those reminders on a regular basis.
12/21/2007
http://startupgeek.blogspot.com/
I created this site to start putting all the different things I've been saying about technical and professional development into single format. ?My apologies for when you're reading something there that you've read here several months or years before. ?It's been a rough week or so - I've been working steadily since 12/11...Forgive me if I sound a little exhausted.
I was listening to a really great podcast by this guy about maximizing smaller revenue streams and thus, start making several different sources of revenue work over time rather than just the day job. ?Diversification, in other words. ?So this explains my interest in starting up an entirely seperate blog when I'm obviously writing one here. ?Kara the kitty's leg thing is still ongoing - she's still active, mobile and in good spirits (I divined the last one through human-feline mind meld - a very delicate process known only to me and Werner Herzog).
Werner Herzog, of course, is the filmmaker behind "Rescue Dawn" and "Dieter Had to Fly". ?His name just lends itself to all kinds of mischief. ?I find myself in quieter moments staring out into the sky and going "Werner Herzog's Polka Disco Party..." ?Sort of (I guess) like Berke Breathed fascination with a public figure like Caspar Weinberger. ?The only thing I can recommend about this season is the free candy and snack collations sent 'round by our office landlord.
12/17/2007
We're at Recovery +1 - one day after we got the mail server back online. ?Let me be the first one to say:
ESEUTIL /R is your friend.
When?our backup solutions fail and we're looking at recreating all the mailboxes with Exmerge and your friend goes "Hey, try this" - you might have come to the solution on your own - it's just nice to be going through it with someone else.
12/15/2007
The One Where Everything Went Wrong
They say that Chernobyl happened - the nuclear disaster - because of a safety test.
I'm sitting in a darkened office - the sun has long since set and the planned data that The Lady and I were hoping for is now looking more and more unlikely. ?What happened? ?Exchange happened.
Corrupted databases, bad backups - all the trappings of a Lifetime made-for-TV movie where Meredith Baxter Berney and Judith Light come together with such 80s-Mom mass that they create a black hole in the center of your television. ?Still not back to 'happy'. ?Looking through web pages, calling friends and at the end of it all - feeling hopeless to recover that which matters most to me - time with the Family...time with Little Man (who is 17 months old today, by the way).
It'll get better eventually.
System Note - my web hoster is doing some maintenance on 12/16/2007 at 1AM. ?You won't be able to look at the website tonight.
12/11/2007
Regardless of how you feel about politics, Berkeley or trees, I think you'd agree that This Guy pretty much nails what is so annoying about the Berkeley Tree Sitters.
The Lady is kicking off her from-home book shop via Amazon.com. ?I'm very proud of her for doing that. ?Little Man is contributing in his way, too - he's picking up new words and learning to do new things (which may or may not involve destruction of property).
The sad news is our first 'baby' - Kara - has a serious tumor and the doctors are grim. ?The best-case scenario, one told us, is she lives the rest of her life as a tripod-kitty. ?As in, minus a leg. ?The worst-case is, it's only a matter of time. ?"It's always something..." I said with a sigh to The Lady.
Front page news this morning - a Congressional report about steroid use in baseball. ?I took a look at the commentary about it and frankly, I don't see what the big deal is. ?As far as anyone should be concerned, when guys suddenly become gorillas and start breaking 40, 50 and 60 year old records, it's clear something is up. ?But so what? ?In professional sports, as in a lot of areas of life, people are always looking to get something for nothing. ?Sure, they've got their sports heroes and those heroes are clearing millions of dollars a year. ?But then when the actual cost is revealed - everyone's upset? ?I guess that's the funny thing about a society so accustomed to having something amazing happen, seemingly out of thin air, and then later on being disappointed when the dirty little secret that makes said Amazing-thing possible is realized. You'd think people would eventually get smart about this.
But thinking about the business of professional sports. ?Billions of dollars of profit...not revenue, profit. ?When you've got no professional skills and somehow you won the genetic lottery; you can work ten or fifteen years and then retire where people will stand in line and then pay you to sign a piece of paper for them - well how many people could walk away from that?
Some people do. ?I have no doubt that some people do walk away - these are the guys we don't see on the Wheaties box. ?For every Barry Bonds there's 10 other guys who get that close - close enough to see the life and know that it's within their grasp - and then walk away from it because they don't want to take drugs. ?People call them crazy - but they got close enough, realized that they weren't willing to make that kind of choice, and then walk away to?redesign the rest of their life. ?They?go back to school, become something else and spend the rest of their lives knowing that they make a tough choice and nobody cares. ?I often wonder what that's like - to have maybe one person out of 100 go, "You know...you did the right thing". ?The other 99 dingbats are going "Whoa, dude! ?You?walked away??"
That's rough.
I'm not suggesting anything - I'm not calling for a sweeping reform about how society views success and failure...I'm making an observation. ?It is what it is - it's also important to realize a simple but difficult truth about being an adult:
Be prepared to make the right decision and be punished for it.
12/05/2007
The master bedroom is pretty much done - stand by for a slideshow of how it went...
105mm Films has released a new movie:
"What I Should Have Said..." started out as an experiment to illustrate dozens of conversations I've had with other people that revolve around our differing tastes in music, movies and comedy. ?At the bottom, I wanted to do good dialogue, some good back-and-forth which I think we pulled off okay, given our experience level. ?There's been different reactions to it - I love how my movies end up being Rorshach tests - I've been really surprised at the results. ?Of course there are things I'd love to do with it, reshoot scenes, add dialogue - do this or that better. ?I'm purposely letting that go and finding a new story to tell.
One of the things I've been learning is that, when you're living deliberately, you have to apologize less often. ?Living deliberately is just that - you get used to making deliberate, conscious choices about your behavior and you're comfortable living with the consquences. ?Or you start from the end and work backward - you realize that you will be living with the consequences so make deliberate, conscious decisions. ?As in the case of "What I Should Have Said..." I made some deliberate choices and I think we avoided any major pitfalls as a result.
I enjoy making things organized or living and working in an organized space. ?I think I always did, but lacked the skills necessary to make it a daily reality. ?Last week, I emptied my desk and, piece by piece, put it back together. ?It's amazing how a cluttered desk can contribute to The Blues. ?Everything is hard to find, everything is hard to use. ?Making a conscious effort to strip it all out and start over gives you your edge back. ?You control the space, instead of the space controlling you. ?Doing this with two spaces I use very often (my cube and my bedroom) has already given me a real boost.
11/24/2007
Some times I wish I could spend a 4-day weekend like a normal person.? 3 days into a 4-day whirlwind project where we tear up our Master Bedroom and lay new carpet, paint, closet organizer, ceiling fan.? Ambitious??? I'm sleeping in my living room.? Everyone is exhausted. A cat has taken up sleeping quarters atop the desktop I'm working with.? I can feel a furry paw reach out and grab for my knee.? It's nice to know that someone is there.
11/12/2007
Annual Holiday Shopping Season Rant
Yes, folks - we're ramping up for another killer season of shopping for your particular Late-Winter festival. ?There's even a pre-season event that has acheived prominence in the past 5-10 years: Black Friday.
I dislike everything about this shopping season. ?I dislike Black Friday because it seems to embody everything I hate about this shopping season. ?Sadly - Black Friday is here to stay and they're even showing the 10 Black Friday Secrets Stores Don't Want You to Know. ?Well, bully for them, I say. ?If people want to pack themselves into malls and in lemming-like fashion subject themselves to what has never been anything other than a horrific experience, there's not much to say.
It's funny how people seem to shut down in the logic department this time of year. ?In the last few rounds, newspapers and magazines began to refer to the hot toy or gadget as "The must-have this season". ?I heard that and I was like, "Whoa! ?That's creepy!" ?It's creepy when media organizations feel free to feed you what is so obviously false. ?It's creepy when no one questions it. ?It's creepy when people, who are supposed to know better state that you must have a toy or gadget, making the not-so-subtle implication that your value as a person could be at stake. ?After all, if it's a Must Have, and you don't have it - what are you? ?A must-have-not?
For all the talk about avoiding groupthink and following the herd - that's exactly the behavior I see on a regular basis oh, say, between 10/15 and 1/10 of the following year. ?It's not that no one questions it (I certainly don't have the market cornered on my brand o' thinking) but the ones that do question it seem to be punished in a lot of subtle ways. ?Maybe it's because people naturally gravitate to people who share their views. ?I still think you ought to be able to think about what you're doing - be able to say if it makes sense or not. ?Now is not the time to let fly with the "Because it just DOES!" to explain why your child MUST shop at Limited Too, Baby Gap and Pottery Barn for Kids. ?I also think that brand does not equal person. ?Some of the best people I know - I couldn't tell you where they shop. ?In fact, some of the best people I know would be considered Utter Failures if they were judged on fashion sense alone.
Having Little Man in our lives means that we're thinking more the world he's growing up in. ?It's scary to think he's being marketed to already. ?I sense I'll be fighting a losing battle as he grows older - who wants to be told at 12 that they can't have those cool shoes or the new game console because of some arcane thing their Dad wants to teach them? ?I'm hoping it can be more reasonable than that - so he understands that I buy him stuff because I love him and that also - buying stuff doesn't take the place of love. ?It's a subtle message - maybe I can get MTV to help.
11/03/2007
From the "Too Much Time on Their Hands" Department:
This guy built a "Steam Punk" laptop
This guy built a working scale-model Ferrari
"Steam Punk" refers to the new(er) cyberpunk / sci-fi genre in which guys like Bruce Sterling and Neal Stephenson re-invented the most positive aspects of the Victorian age and then plastered it against completely futuristic technology like nanotech. ?Some people dig it - evidently the guy in the first link is one of them. ?At first you might think I'm completely jazzed about something that cool, but...you'd be wrong.
See, to me the whole 'waste your time imitating someone else's vision' thing is at best, irritating. ?It's like saying "I'll spend hundreds of hours practicing so that I can swing a baseball bat like A-Rod. ?I don't want to invent my own style - I just worship a baseball player that much - I want to bat like A-Rod." ?And the guy who spent 20,000 hours literally building a Ferrari from scratch - what do you say to that?
I keep trying to find a reasonable source of information for the amount of man-hours required to accomplish some of the things we've seen in human history. ?How many man-hours did it take to build the Hoover Dam, for example? ?If I had that number, I could start putting together a single picture of what a waste things like Second Life and World of Warcraft are. ?Or, for that matter - a 'steam punk' laptop. ?Spending that kind of time to develop what amounts to an homage of someone else's work isn't cool.
It's creepy.
Please promise me this - if you're going to spend that kind of time doing ANYTHING - please make it original. ?It's just what you should be doing with your time, with your mind, your spirit, your id...with your life.
10/30/2007
I noticed that, with the new daylight hours schedule (which is ending this week), it's been a dark as the inside of a coffin on the ride through the quarry ponds to get to the gym. ?I ride to the gym through the ponds, over the UP rail bridge, through the Chalk Yard before I emerge on the other side to jet to the gym. ?Early-morning walkers include a lady with three dogs - the dogs seem hostile; one of them is notorious for charging me and barking. ?I've taken to carrying mace.
I've gotten tremendous reponse from the Titus - Year One video I released below. ?The Festival is running under a different name now and is private - no need to check Metro or the Merc for dates or tickets.
As I've been saying, the mounting evidence is that winning the Lottery isn't what it's cracked up to be. ?Most people simply suggest moving out of state, out of country - I think the most effective response is to fake your own death. ?Maybe that's what Ken Lay did. ?Money does things to people - funny things. ?You can't count on them to be able to suppress their latent avarice and the concept the several million dollars is within reach usually strains them to the breaking point. ?Sometimes it isn't even millions of dollars - it's tens of thousands. ?This has never happened to me, but I'd like to think that if it did - I could simply wish that friend or relative well. ?Nobody I'm close to plays the lottery - so this is all speculative.
The SoCal Fire Mess is a sobering reminder that we're all living essentially in a beautiful, volitile area. ?Even if you miss getting burned out of your house, there's no telling when it might be shaken to the ground. ?Friends are scheduling "Emergency Preparedness" parties and companies are making a killing selling pre-assembled backpacks. ?We've done that on our own so going with someone else's kit seems superflous at this point.
For our anniversary - the Lady got me something - a Creative Labs Zen to take with me when I go to the gym. ?I'm glad she didn't get an iPod; I still don't care for Apple products and the cult-like devotion people have for them gives me the creeps. ?They're also capable of doing bonehead corporate things - f'rinstance if you like your iPod and want to write and tell them about it, maybe even make a few suggestions, don't do it. ?A 9-year-old girl did and they threatened to sue.
My personal to-do list has expanded dramatically in the past month or so. ?I think I came back from vacation with a renewed sense of purpose - or maybe it's that we had so much fun that I want to make sure we can do it again next year. ?I told The Lady the other night, "I miss London" as we were getting ready for bed. ?"I know," she said. ?"Me, too." ?We've already got one trip on the books for the East Coast to a wedding in Nicole's family.
I spent 5-6 hours last weekend with a friend of mine. ?She's one of the most positive, pragmatic people I've ever met - hanging with her as she cares for her disabled husband always leaves me with a more measured, grateful perspective. ?Their experience could be crystallized into a book called "Why You Don't Want to Get Sick or Disabled" and yet they maintain a level of serenity and hope far beyond anyone else I know. ?They've helped me maintain my sanity as personal issues threaten to overwhelm me - They've?beaten back more than one case of the mean reds for me.
I read this while I was on vacation - At times humerous, at times gripping and sad. ?Bitter and inciteful - Chris Rose tells you what New Orleans has become since Hurricane Katrina.
10/22/2007
So many interesting things happening in the past 2 weeks. ?The Social Distortion show made me realize that I don't get out to concerts nearly enough. ?Took The Lady to the Sharks/Predators game on Saturday to celebrate our 7th anniversary - something else that we need to do more often (celebrate...and go to hockey games).
Below is one of the videos I'm submitting for South Bay Friends Film Festival 2007. ?I thought I would share it with you.
10/10/2007
Am home safe and sound - thanks for asking.? I was able to keep the page updated even in the UK thanks to the magic of wi-fi.? Am skipping off to a concert tonight (Social Distortion @ The Catalyst) and I'm back to work tomorrow.? I didn't realize it before I went on vacation but I really, really, really needed one.? Glad I went.? Wrote some notes up on the trip in the form of a Dark Side - I haven't written one since 2005.? Still keeping my promise to write as much as I can of some stuff I'd like to sell - this trip just prompted so much writing just because it's that cool of a place.? Enjoy.
Somewhere on the Circle or the Bakerloo
10/06/2007
I'll have more to say about it when I get back, but for now - here are our pictures:
Day 1 - 09.29 Day 2 - 09.30 Day 3 - 10.01 Day 4 - 10.02
Day 5 - 10.03 (Paris) Day 6 - 10.04 Day 7 - 10.05
09/26/2007
I posed this one to a Marketing Pro about two weeks ago: does the ad industry purposely change the tone of their ads to promote the cozy, domestic qualities of their product? ?It seems like a seasonal thing ? the commercials get more cozy-looking and focus more on what comforts people as the year begins the wind-down toward autumn and winter.? I caught the new Wal-Mart commercial featuring Johnny Football Hero and his life somewhere on a farm in the Mid-West.? In 30 seconds, Wal-Mart tells me about his simple but rich family life and how much his mom must love him by the way they cheer him as he plays for the local football team.? At the end of it all, Wal-Mart wanted me to know how it contributed to this happy scene as they Johnny Football Hero and Mom buy things that the family will need by shopping at Wal-Mart.
I felt drenched in sappy corn.? I wanted to throw a brick through my TV screen but it would have set a bad example for Little Man.
As we begin the long stretch toward the end of 2007 and with all that?s occurring both in the world, the national scene, the state and the local, I feel almost insulted that Wal-Mart would try to suggest that shopping for them fulfilled some genuine domestic fantasy of togetherness and support.? Other companies do the same ? Chevy loves to throw beautiful saturated-color footage of cowboys on the ranch somewhere in Montana with Bob Seger?s ?Like a Rock? to show how their truck is ?America?s Truck?.? Never mind the fact that it actually comes from Mexico, never mind!
You can?t fault companies for leaning on people?s need for stability, especially when stability and safety are so hard to find in this world. ?The topic du jour on the news is the visit of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to Columbia University and the later to the U.N. ?As I watched the rebroadcast, I was?reminded of Kruschev's visit to the U.N. in?1960 when he took his shoe off and beat the desk with it. ?This kind of stuff freaks people out.
But that doesn't excuse, in my mind, Wal-Mart or Chevy making commercials like that. ?It's ill-mannered.
I noticed something as I approached my vaction in the last week - I've been so shell-shocked about being a parent and working for Nextmedium that I've been unable to enjoy the good things when they happen. ?I've been consciously reminding myself to be happy, enjoy the good weather (this really is the best time of the year, weather-wise) and enjoy the fact that I'm going on vacation. ?As I sat waiting to get on the 237 to go across to Mountain View, I had to say out loud to myself, "Be happy, dang it."
It's weird how easy it is to forget that.
09/23/2007
Little Man is getting better and better at his walking - he's also starting to do "Kong" really well (a game consisting of me saying the word "Kong!" and him head-butting me).
I added two new pics to the "Photography" <-- page.? I'm not going to point them out to you - I'll let finding them be your fun game of the day.
09/21/2007
Had two F-16s fly over the office on their way to or from Moffett Field. ?If you've never experienced an up-close-and-personal visit from a fighter jet, it sounds much like an over-sized blowtorch, not like a passenger jet or the foleyed-in sounds from "Top Gun". ?Among the other minutae of the week is the new White Stripes album "Icky Thump" and, of course, Little Man:
In preparation for the big trip in less than a week, we're looking at getting everything in order so that the vacation can just be about being some place new and nothing else. ?Of course I've got all of my pre-trip jitters...I'm imagining all sorts of things that can go wrong. ?But that happened before I went on my Highway 1 road trip in 2004 and my Alaska trip in 2005; there's nothing for it - it just has to be done.
09/11/2007
The thing I keep thinking about today is that Little Man is going to grow up one day and ask me what it was like on 9/11/2001. ?I'm writing a running letter to him in Google Docs called "Dear (Little Man)" and I spent a lot of time just writing an answer to that question. ?It still seems weird to live in such a world where you go "Oh yeah...9/11...towers fell..."
As to the missive I linked below - I'm happy to report that life took a little step up - They're running "Get Fuzzy" by Darby Conley in the MN comics section now.
The brush fires that made life so interesting last week are almost out - they filled the Bay Area with smoke and dust - both me and Little Man have been suffering through it. ?He doesn't understand the concept of Visene yet.
Work's going okay - today was a study in various disasters, both ISP and Telco for the LA office were having trouble. ?I'm also finishing up our Exchange migration project, including updated spam and virus filtering. ?I hope to get all of this done before I leave on vacation.
09/06/2007
08/31/2007
Pray that your life continiues to unfold in the naive bubble it now finds itself.
I saw that quote and hung onto it in an unsaved Notepad file window for over a day. ?There's so many times when you want to scream to different people in your life "If you weren't so stupid, I could explain to you how stupid you are!" They may not get you - but that's not neccesarily your problem...and it's not neccesarily within your power to make them get you. ?Someone much wiser than I said once that, more than anything, people just want to be understood. ?One of the ubiqitous "7 Habits" is?Seek first to understand - then to be understood.
When it is obvious that some people just won't get your trip...when it is obvious that there is nothing you can do to change this - the only solution is to accept this with grace and find something else to do with your life. ?The fact that you did not succeed is not an editorial on you as a person.
08/30/2007
I'm T-Minus 27 days from my first vacation since 2005. ?As with most of our vacations, we're traveling and this time we're going somewhere very special.
Little Man is entering the world of the vocal - he definitely said "Kitty!" today when we were playing with the cats today. ?The Lady is "A-bwa-bwa!" (or variants thereof) and I'm "Dadadada". ?I caught myself having a moment where I wanted to hear him speaking his Babyspeak - our conversation was cut short when he tried to walk, talk and put socks in the hamper at the same time.
The film project is taking a short hiatus while we continue to?polish the script. ?I apologize to anyone who had their hopes up of seeing a cut of it.
Wal-Mart Vs. Trader Joe's
When you have a lunch free and you hit Target, Wal-Mart and TJ's in the same 45 minutes - you're struck with the difference in approach by 3 organizations selling roughly the same genre of product. ?Everyone's talked about the differences between Target and Wal-Mart; those differences are much more pronouced when you have a?Wal-Mart and a TJ in the same parking lot as they do in Mountain View.
F'rinstance...
A rude lady who decided to block up traffic in the first row of TJ's rather than going around to the second row where spaces were available, aside - I didn't fear for my life driving in the parking lot. ?Wal-Mart has a private security truck roaming the aisles, this doesn't prevent the Old Folks Home van from disgorging its passengers at the front door effectively shutting down traffic in the most crowded part of the lot. ?Nor does it prevent the guy with the cart filled with what appears to be Bay Lady Junk from losing said cart into the path of oncoming traffic. ?What should be a simple process (drive up to the front, go right and get out of the lot) is now at the very least a huge inconvenience and also possibly a safety hazard (I'm waiting for some old granny who survived God-knows-what bounce off the front grille of that kid-packed Escalade).
What message does Wal-Mart want to convey when it makes the process of getting into the store to the items you want to buy a massive comedy of errors? ?I realized what the problem was, after walking into the store and going back to Sporting Goods to find a bike rack for my Granddad's bike and then being pointed in the direction of the front of the store because that Wal-Mart has a "bike shop". ?I was trained based on all my past experiences going to Wal-Mart that, whatever it was I was looking for specifically, it wasn't going to be in a convenient location. ?In fact, I think Wal-Mart is slowly training us not to look for specific things but to just roam around their stores buying things because they're cheaper here than other places.
The noise, the people, the products in non-intuitive locations Every other piece of "Sporting Goods" equipment is in the back of the store - with the exception of bicycles, which is located at the exact front and NO, they didn't have the rear-mounted bike rack I was looking for anyway. ?So I'm an idiot for not seeing the bike shop when I walked in because I had trained myself to accept the fact that anything I want that Wal-mart sells is automatically somewhere in the back of the store and I'm an idiot twice because the bike rack I wanted was sold out. ?Thanks, Wal-Mart! ?Really Cool Co-Worker suggested that we go immediately into business selling rear-mounted bike racks because the demand for them is apparently so high that neither Wal-Mart nor the Target across the street had any in stock.
I feel claustrophobic in Wal-mart thanks to all the mid-aisle sale points but I don't feel that way at Trader Joe's. ?I enjoyed some Green Curry Tuna mix at the little demo station at the back, induldged some impule buying and spent, all told, 12 bucks. ?I keep waiting for the point when someone comes along with a slightly more human-focused business model and knock Wal-Mart back to the Montgomery Wards-zone. ?It'll happen sooner or later - people are starting to figure out that the slightly-lower prices (4-5%) of Wal-Mart (Don't believe me? ?Read this) aren't worth the added stress and Shopping-in-the-Gulag feel.
I don't want to talk about my upcoming vacation much, but here's a hint: they spend these there.
08/23/2007
No one tells you when crisis mode is about to begin.?Simple software installs aren't...vendors who are supposed to call don't. ?You're contemplating a nice weekend when suddenly you're yanked into full-on Houston-we-have-a-problem mode.
What I suppose was comforting about being in a situation like that is the fact that you have a team of people to rely on to help you get through whatever tough situation it is that you're facing. ?In my job, there's only me. ?The good thing is, even though there's no one immediately available to help you technically with the crisis, you have a number of people who are willing to go through the process with you. ?I had phone calls and text messages from my team to say, in effect, 'we're here for you'. ?That meant a lot to me.
I was able to resolve the crisis the next morning and decided to get some breakfast, since I had a few hours before work was going to start. ?The cafe at my old job is open to the public, so I decided to get my breakfast there.
What struck me about visiting was how much had not changed. ?The cafe staff was still all the same faces - save for a couple of new dishwashers. ?The old hands who have been with the company for 15 or 20 years were chowing down on oatmeal or eggs and arguing about the latest all-hands meeting they were skipping. ?It hadn't changed at all - I could sit there with them and jaw and everything I said was still as relevant as a year ago when I was one of their co-workers.
Weird.
The nice thing was, that The Lady and Little Man were able to visit me for a picnic lunch at work. ?It's still nice to take refuge in the small joys. ?Shades of the 4th of July, 2005 debacle that I blogged about (and have since removed).
And now for a little tech-heresy
I'm going back through my list of regular-blogs-to-read and 'firing' a few of them. ?I know with the advent of RSS it's tempting to just keep them around but I find RSS feeds too much work. ?I find Facebook a waste of time. ?I think Twitter is a waste of web hosting. ?Digg is lame. ?Everyone and almost anyone can have a blogspot.com blog. ?Stuff like Justin.tv is an interesting concept but nothing I'd want to be a part of for longer than 4 minutes.
As Web 2.0 grows and continues to evolve, it's weird how the newest ideas seemed be nothing more than pared-down versions of old ones. ?In fact, Collegehumor.com did a really funny short movie about every dot-com brainstorming session I've ever sat through. ?I just wish the ones I had were done as quickly as this movie was. ?The sad thing is, the more I get into Web 2.0, the more I realize that people who want to be 'early adopters' of a new technology aren't being as judicious about what it is they're adopting, why it's relevant and what benefit (if any) they could hope to get.
Please don't get me wrong - I like tech. ?I love tech. ?That's why I do the job I do. ?But at the back of my mind, almost daily, is the little voice that's saying "Hey...What's the point?" ?Not everyone should be blogging. ?Not everyone should be on Facebook, or looking for Diggs or creating viral marketing. ?It's yet to be proven the benefit of being the first guy on the bandwagon for these new technologies.
Good surfers don't try to ride every wave - they simply know to jump on one when it comes by.
08/21/2007
Sorry about the lack of publishing - there are a variety of things that have been happening; some good and some bad.
What's Been Going On?
We're making another movie, actually. It's called "What I Should Have Said..." and?so far, this latest project is the most ambitious yet. ?After two weekends of shooting we took a first cut and?showed it around. ?Doing this?showed the benefit of getting honest feedback before publishing. ?We clearly needed a second cut.
So "What I Should Have Said..." isn't ready to show you yet. ?I'm hoping that, when you do, it'll be something that you will really enjoy.
I also tackled a car repair - changed my brake pads and battery; the first repair was planned, the second was not.
Some of the technical projects I've been working on are
- Integrating our automated QA testing with our automated build process
- Transcoding 300,000+ .avi files to .flv files
- Migrating our Exchange environment and adding a new virus/spam solution
- Updating our office phone system to T1
It's all really exciting to work on and all of these things, although they've been difficult are a big part of the reason why I'm happy to be here.
I threw this up on Craigslist and wanted to share it with you:
Summer
It's now past August and the odds of this turning into a hot, dry summer - the time of year that just lends itself to barbeques, beach parties and camping - are rapidly approaching zero.
Can someone start working on this - a coupon that says: Good for One Free Summer. I'd like to turn that in around May 25th and watch what passes for summer in the Bay Area turn into reality.
I love the seasons here - clearly, the East Coast has us beat in the fall but when they're digging themselves out of another Storm of the Century and I'm walking around my backyard in shirt sleeves, I call it even.
Summer in the Bay Area smells like dust, hot yellow grass, the jasmine in my back yard and about 10,000 barbeque pits perfuming the air with the smell of smoke. It smells like sun screen and concrete wet with chlorinated pool water. It smells like hot funnel cake at the Boardwalk and wet seaweed on the sands of Seacliff State Beach. It sounds like mockingbirds and screaming roller coaster passengers. It sounds like the echoes of a hundred outdoor concerts ? everything from Indian ragas to hip-hop to a Prince cover band. It sounds like the waves hissing onto the shore, it sounds like a chuckling creek in the Sierras, it sounds like the metallic ?clink? of a tent peg driven into the ground of your campsite at Yosemite. It feels like the heat from the sun, like the sand under your feet and the grass between your toes. It feels like home.
But we didn't get our summer! Seriously, I think it has something to do with our lovely drought. I recall summers like this years ago, the last time California went through a drought, the summer months didn't get that warm. As I see the fog piling into the rest of the Bay (Not just SF?you guys should be used to it by now), I keep seeing one gross night after another and I?m afraid that the summer will be gone before the weather realizes that it?s summer and reacts appropriately.
Here?s another question: What do you DO on a gross night? Summers were made for outdoor things ? how can you enjoy a barbeque when the wet, dank air is making the goose bumps crawl up your arms? Indoor activities? Board games? It?s SUMMER, for God?s sake! I want my summer!
So yeah ? I think I?ll be missing this summer and it *IS* something that I will miss. I love the fall, the winter and the spring. It?s just that, without a really good, hot summer, you can?t appreciate those seasons as much.
08/07/2007
This shirt, for some reason, is popular among a platoon of soldiers in Iraq - it made the local news in Philadelphia.
I'm curious about that - why is "Scumbag" in quotations? ?I offer here a?much superior form of humor in the t-shirt form.
08/03/2007
Now that I've talked about it, I'm seeing more and more of the 'groupie mentality' in blogs I read. ?As I said before, it's possible to completely bury a new reader of your blog by continually throwing in-jokes and obscure references into what it is you're writing. ?I'm not saying that it's not understandable - your blog to you is one continuous conversation and you just assume that everyone's been paying attention at least as much as you have.
It's important sometimes to just pull back and treat your readers as though you're meeting them for the first time - let new people get a chance to get to know you. ?I hate feeling like I'm not good enough to know what's going on when I read your blog.
More Notes on Being Mates - I shared the Craigslist entry I posted below \/ with a few people - it led to some interesting conversations. ?I think this R&R really spoke to me more than the average person and for a very simple reason - one of the things I need to do better at is learn to deal with disappointment and rejection. ?I mentioned it once before (and it's buried somewhere in the Doses <-) that when you're presented with a situation where you're the 'last kid picked', it's tempting to construct a world where you're never picked last and you can subtly stick it to almost anyone besides yourself.
At that point - I knew that the answer wasn't to create an insular group of friends and keep everyone else out, but at the same time I didn't have a better strategy other than "Just keep trying..." ?I think the answer to the question is as I noted below - find a way to bring value to whatever group you're in. ?Make other people glad they picked you. ?In the off chance that you're the best player, best teammate in the world, and you still get picked last - at least you know 2 things: ?1. This is only temporary and 2. You are not the reason why - at least, not directly. ?It's been my experience that when a person is rejected, figuratively stomped-on by the group he inhabits purely out of personal pique, time has a way of balancing that condition out. ?The stompers become the stompees, you find a new circle of friends who appreciate your talents and for who you are - it all evens out eventually.
There are a number of ways you can respond to the 'last-picked' scenario and let me tell you of two things that don't work - these I learned from personal experience.
Don't pout/don't be petty - Pouting doesn't work if you're over the age of 4, in any situation. ?If you're the proverbial fifth wheel, learn to take it with good humor. ?Otherwise, even in a situation where you're the best person for the job, everyone's looking at you going "I dunno if I want this guy around". ?Now they know that they're dealing with you and your emotional baggage. You've ceased to be a good team player at that point. ?The other thing you don't want to do is...
Start assuming you were picked last because everyone hates you - it's similar to pouting, but it's a little more dangerous because it gives you an excuse not to try your best at doing something. ?You start unconsciously giving yourself a pass - why bother practicing your batting or catching...you'll get picked last no matter what you do? ?That's dangerous thinking, man and it sets you up for some really big falls later on. ?If you're consistently picked last, you can assume at least half of the time (Unless you're still trying to play for that team that hates you - take the hint and move on) that it's because you really should be picked last. ?Learn from that experience - add value to the team and you will eventually stop being picked last.
So how do you stop being picked last? ?Realize that it's not about whether you're picked first or last...just do your best. ?"Winners forget they're in a race, they just love to run", so said Joe Pesci in 'With Honors'. ?Decide whether you're doing something you really want to do in the first place...if you're not good at one thing, either get good at it so that you can play or find something else. ?There are all kinds of options open to you - you just need to step back and figure out what they are.
07/31/2007
Wisdom, sometimes, occurs in the most unlikely places...Craigslist and Somerville, MA.? I saw this tonight and it really spoke to me.? I thought I'd share it with you:
"I grew up in Australia. Australian men generally accept masculinity far better than American men, and I understand why this is. In every country on earth where boys play, there is a ritual of selecting members of each team, whether the game is soccer, cricket, football, baseball, kickball, mammoth-hunting, what have you. Most boys, at some time, have experienced the humiliation of being picked last, and it hurts. Even being picked second-last is much more tolerable than being picked last. It hurts? what is important, and culturally distinct, is how the boy deals with that pain and humiliation, when he's the one picked last.
"In Australia, boys strive to be an asset to the team that picks them. They actually care more about how their team does than how they feel. This isn't ego annihilation, and it's not fascism. While playing the game, the game is what's important, not one's own petty issues. If a boy can table his own issues sufficiently to make a good catch, or kick a goal, he'll get picked sooner next time. He knows this. It's a question of priorities: the team wants to win, and they will pick those kids who will make it more likely that their team will win. How each individual feels during this process is irrelevant to the overall goal. Be dependable, be an asset to the team, and the rest of the team will take care of you.
"American boys don't have this. The best have a much weaker version of this, but the commitment is conditional and halting, the bonds constantly tested by vicious games of conformity and obedience. Maybe men at war have the real thing, but I have no experience of this. Coming back to the USA, I had to teach my male friends to be mates, and it never came naturally to any of my new friends. I have American mates now, some of whom I've been friends with for twenty years, but it took an enormous amount of work, and included really rocky periods, and a lot of struggle. New people I meet, especially younger people, have no understanding of what it means to be a mate. Friendships, especially among young people, are temporary, fleeting, strategic. They exist in order to jockey for social position. American men seem treacherous, insecure, and ungrounded in comparison to Aussie men. It's killing us as a society. It's one of the great tragedies of our time.
"The point is that every boy and every man needs to know his friends chose him. It's hard-wired into our brains. We need to know that we were worth picking, that we're valued for what we contribute to the people around us. We need it in our jobs, in our friendships, and in our relationships. Those boys and men who never get chosen, who never become the people anyone would want on their side, are damaged goods.
"We live in an advertising culture where we are constantly told that the only thing that stands between our current state and wholeness is a particular commodity. It's the central lie of our culture, and the people who hate mainstream culture the most seem to cling to this lie the most intensely. Notice how many "alternative" people define their non-conformity by how readily they conform to an alternate standard? How they buy objects that articulate their rebellion for them? It has become so ingrained in our culture that the current crop of teenagers makes no distinction between consumption and expression. They are frustrated that consumption alienates them from their own feelings and desires, but they express that frustration by consuming more commodities. It's a vicious circle. Let go. Quit being cool."
07/30/2007
I think an era has come to an end - It is possible I've parked my last car at the Cow Palace.
Every year, my personal religion holds a 3-day convention at the Cow Palace. ?I've attended the convention at this location every year since I've been born with the exception of years when I visited Tucson and Reno and also one year when they changed the venue location to the Oakland Coliseum. ?My family has a long-standing tradition of working in Volunteer Services in some shape or form: security, accounting, first aid. ?For the past four or five years, I've been working in the Parking department.
Parking is pretty much that - getting people parked. ?Directing traffic for the 1500-2000 cars that arrive and leave every day. ?It's a fun job, even though you're on your feet for six or seven hours out of a 12-hour day. ?The group of people I work with are so cooperative, so happy to be there, that it really doesn't matter what job I'm assigned - it can be cleaning toilets (and I have cleaned the toilets from time to time). ?In the 3 days we have together, we manage to figure out how to quickly and safely get all these cars into and out of the Upper or Lower Lots without an accident or so much as a fender-bender.
The gent I worked most closely with doesn't park cars professionally - he parks 737s. ?He works the ramp at SFO, I do what I do - a third guy was taking time off of his job as a professional tree feller up in the Mount Shasta area. ?It's not every day that you meet a lumberjack in this day and age. ?Despite our very different lives and backgrounds - we were able to get together and do a hard job safely and effectively. ?That's what makes me happy about my personal religion and what makes me happy about volunteering at a major event like this. ?Trying to explain it to other people later on is usually a waste of time. ?The conversation stops at "Wait...you parked cars all weekend?"
Other faiths preach the value of performing mundane tasks - I'm sure what it is that I do personally is not so foreign. ?Why it makes me feel good to be out there when my feet are aching and I haven't had a bathroom break in 3 hours is also probably not so hard to understand. ?All you have to do is do it once with me and you'll understand it, too.
I've had kind of a love/hate relationship with the Cow Palace though. ?It's a dank, musty-smelling arena that's been around since the early 40's and looks it, too. ?Old concrete, a massive steel-girder building shaped like a Quonset hut. ?Acres of asphalt parking that's rimmed by eucalyptus trees. ?The seats are old and creaky - if you go high enough, you'll be sitting on wood-slat seats and staring at the high, sweeping expanse above the area - light shafts through open maintenance hatches meander across the floor as the day progresses.
The Cow Palace is home to all kinds of events - from the gay rodeo to the RV/Boat Show and our conventions. ?The exhibit halls on either side of the area have that quality that reminds of you of fairgrounds built in the fifties. ?Barn-like structures, whining roof turbines - the concrete is worn from decades of feet, hooves and truck tires. ?They still have pictures of the leading stockmen of California - from the 1940s through the present - the juxtaposition of cattle and farming on Geneva Avenue in San Francisco has always been one of the things that makes The City so wonderfully weird. ?I just learned that we won't be going back there next year - it doesn't bother me particularly but I though it would be important to talk about a place I'd spent so much time in.
Blogging and Groupies
If you're going to blog, blog - don't bury people.
I'm not going to quote a direct link to what I'm talking about - perhaps you've read blogs on a variety of topics (and they do exist on any number...) and found yourself a little lost. ?Links to other people's blogs, weird in-jokes, acronyms that aren't immediately understood - things that you'd have to try and figure out by sorting through past blog entries and Wikipedia.
My own personal effort here doesn't have a mandate beyond talking about things I'm thinking about. ?I hope it doesn't take much before you get what I'm talking about.
Another thing that annoys me about the Internet and blogging is groupies. ?Blogging makes being a groupie almost a professional gig. ?Your favorite hobby, your favorite band. ?Beer, macrame, the Grateful Dead - you can blog it all! ?The issue that comes up is that you start writing in those breathless superlatives to give more weight to what it is you're talking about. ?What if the average person doesn't feel the way that you do about vidallia onions? ?The internet is great for one thing - it allows you to care very much about something that means almost nothing. ?Don't understand what I mean? ?Cruise on over to rec.crafts.textiles.yarn sometime. ?Or this place - did you ever think someone would start a WordPress blog devoted to knitting? ?Not only that - she's got regular visitors who are on the Internet...to talk about yarn!
The mind reels...
07/25/2007
It's been so long since I've seen a drought summer that I had forgotten what they were like.
I was forcibly reminded of the same as I contemplated a fast-moving pile of high-fog clouds as they slid over the Santa Cruz mountains.? In less than an hour, all sunlight was obscured to a watery gray and I turned my headlights on at about 7:30 - unheard of on what should be a balmy July evening.? It's a drought summer, what else can you say?
For the unfamiliar - California occasionally experiences drought conditions in which the normal snowpacks and watersheds built up over the winter months aren't available.? Two years ago, Tahoe experienced the worst snowstorm in almost 100 years and so the lack of available snow seems odd.? Yet, it does happen.? When it does, the snowpacks are much lower than usual, the available water is much lower and across the state come warnings of rationing and noisy articles about how water is used in this state - farmers vs. towns / NorCal vs SoCal.? I remember all of this from the last round of drought we had, almost 15 years ago.
You might expect drought years to be hotter - the opposite is often true.? While you still get a few heat waves here and there, the reality is that drought summers are cooler and feature foggy nights and mornings.? It's slow to warm up and quick to cool off - I think it might be nature's way of giving us a break.? When the fog rolls in and it's too cold to consider barbequeing and pool parties after dark, you're left wondering just what you should be doing on such a gross night.
We picked up Little Man's new bed - he finally graduated from his bassinette.? As the warehouse guy from Babys R Us wheeled out his new bed, the chill wind from the Bay felt dank and cold.? Little Man was dressed for summer, but summer seemed only to exist on the calendar.? It was way too cold to be summer here.? The box was too large to fit in the Jeep and with a little improvising that was highly complimented by the warehouse guy, we managed to tie it to the roof-rack.? Too many other people would have tried the same in a Honda Civic or Toyota Camry.
I arrived home in the gathering dark, too many people had lined up behind me to tailgate me.? It should have been obvious that with the big flat load on my roof I wasn't going for any sexy cornering or swift starts and stops.? We ate too late for the baby's schedule and he was appropriately unsettled.? He squirmed and squealed - I read him essays from Hunter S Thompson while he nursed - it was plain that he wasn't having anything to do with me.? Gathering gloom - what should be a cheery night turns tense and melancholy.
What else can you say?? Drought summers are like that.
07/21/2007
Internal infections and a 24-hour flu are no match for the good things when they happen...
07/09/2007
Little Man is always capable of the unexpected - from the freak-out at the photo counter to the improvised digiridoo/kazoo he found under my desk (a length of plastic piping). ?I'm glad he's in my life and I hope I'll remember to tell him that when he is older.
A Few Random Notes From the Weekend
- Transformers was tops at the box office - $67 Million or so in receipts - my $20 was in there somewhere. ?I never thought I'd hear myself say this but Michael Bay did a really good job. ?After too many?movies that leave you both bored and emotionally drained at the same time, he pulls out a very entertaining movie. ?It was funny, it was tongue-in-cheek, it was genuine. ?It brings back what's fun about summer movies - not too serious, good lines, great action and lots of whizz-bang-pow!
- I got in touch with one of my teachers from elementary school - turns out it was as simple as Googling his name. ?Had a great conversation - it was nice to reconnect after almost 20 years.
- I ran the Triple again - 6.3 miles.
- I was watching "The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill" as well, over the weekend (The copy of "Rock 'n Roll High School" Netflix sent us was cracked). ?It reminded me of another event from around 20 years ago. ?A neighbor came to the house one afternoon, asking permission to get in our back yard. ?It turned out that his birds had gotten loose and he was trying to recapture them. ?He was unsuccessful - over the years afterward, we noticed a steadily-growing flock of green birds that hung around our neighborhood eating the berries out of the juniper tree next door. ?Noisy beasts - I don't remember seeing them after about 10 years ago. ?After watching that documentary about the cherry-headed conures and/or other green parakeets - I often wonder if they're of the same flock.
- The Lady looked up the recipe for Sonoma Chicken Salad - it turned out quite well.
- As I said before, I'm still working on my short film - hoping to shoot that in a few weeks.
06/30/2007
Saturday afternoon, the three of us tried out a new hiking trail east of Garin Park.? It goes up about 800 feet, what they don't tell you is? that 400 of them are all upfront - huffing and puffing, I heaved the baby jogging stroller up the slope.? The rest of the bay was laid out behind us like a map.
For some reason the grocery store crowd on a Saturday before the 4th of July seems ominous and violence-prone.
06/26/2007
I'm replacing a couple of pictures in our living room with a large wall mirror.
I don't know why I want to tell you that - I am not asking for a mirror - I just wanted to tell you a small part of my day.
The thing about successful people is that success isn't really measured in terms of finance, job or toys. ?Success is measured in your ability to find your own way in the world. ?Individualism is a word that's frequently celebrated but rarely practiced - in practice it challenges all manner of arbitrary opinions about life, the universe and everything.
Sometimes to be successful as an individual means you have to be a failure in the more conventional sense. ?Glenn Kurtz would be one example of that. ?I didn't really start growing as a person until I completely blew up some of these monolithic realities that existed in my mind. ?After that, some of them could come back in but on different terms and for their own sake.
On a different topic, we enter into another summer of discontent at the box office. ?Sequel after sequel after sequel invade our consciouness - remember when movies just ended? ?I spoke about it in the past - there comes a point where a story just needs to move on. ?Massive two-hundred-million-dollar movies remind us of the days when MGM was flooding the market with massive musicals or Westerns that are now just a counterpoint in film history. ?Indie films these days are so much more fun to watch because they just get it ?- It's about the story, doofus.
Does anyone really need to see Bruce Willis in another highly-improbable gun battle? ?Do we need another Oceans movie? ?I plugged in The Sting and watched that again for the first time in a while. ?As an aside - the Special Edition of The Sting is actually pretty good - removes those crummy "pow!" gunshots that I always hated about the original version. ? The Sting runs circles around any Oceans movie as a caper-flick and doesn't let us down by trying to float some obvious logic holes past us for the sake of glitz. ?You wanna tell us how impossible a casino bank vault is to rob? ?Okay, fine - just don't crap out the solution later on by a number of Hollywood Coincidences (the kind of coincidences that can only happen in Hollywood...).
I'm under a deadline myself - I have a short film I need to finish the script on, get actors, get a set, film, cut and ship in about 35 days. ?More on that later.
06/19/2007
Michael Keenan succumbed to injuries and died yesterday. ?I was following his story with interest since his injuries were received rescuing a dog from a burning house. ?If you read the article, you'll note that Mr. Keenan had done similar things for humans and had lived to tell the tale. ?I'm sure his friends and family are devestated at his loss.
The thing I keep thinking about when I hear his story is how much of it invovles breaking the rules drummed into me by every First Aid course I've ever been to. ?The first rule...the very first rule...of First Aid is:?scene safety. ?Don't run into a burning building unless you have protective equipment *AND* are trained in how to use it. ?Don't run out into the street for a car accident victim without checking to see if another car is ready to turn you into casualty #2. ?See someone lying on the ground and needs help? ?Don't run up and just start doing CPR - find out what put them down in the first place. ?The logic is very simple - you can't help anyone if you are injured, too. ?If the oxygen masks drop from the ceiling - you put your mask on first before helping anyone else.
Nobody talks about Mr. Keenan's first aid training - I presume he had little or none. ?I'm not sure what the logic was that allowed him to think that A) the dog he went into save wouldn't eventually escape on its own B) That he could save it safely and C) Once he was in the house and feeling the heat to go "Maybe this isn't a good idea after all." ?What I do know is, I'm reading story after story about "what a hero" he was - I'm hoping that professional rescuers and other people learning about First Aid get this article put right in front of their nose while someone yells R.Lee-Ermy-style: "SEE? ?That's why you don't try to be a hero!"
The other story in the paper notes that he jumped into the water to pull someone out of a car that had just drove off the pier at the St. Francis Yacht club. ?He was able to pull one person from the car - the other drowned. ?After reading both stories, I got the weird impression: this guy thinks he's Spiderman. ?In the movies, Peter Parker always finds himself right on scene for the burning building or the kids who need to be yanked out of the street. ?Unlike the movies, you rarely find yourself in those situations but when you do - hopefully a little voice is saying in your head, "I'm not invincible - I can get killed this way."
None of what I'm saying takes away from the fact that Mr. Keenan's act was selfless and his death is tragic. ?It's hard to try and say this without crapping on the death of Mr. Keenan (which is not my intention). ?The lesson in there is a subtle one and it deserves to be said at least once: ?Mature people are able to decide when something is worth sacrificing over. ?Sure, it's nice to be the guy who can bandage a wound or save the day but it doesn't mean that it needed saving and it sure doesn't mean that it needed you to save it.
06/15/2007
"I'd contend that the most egregious brides engage in a sort of prenuptial stotting, signaling to the groom: 'You can go ahead and marry me, but observe my behavior now and don't ever say I didn't warn you that I'm a lunatic.'"
Emily Yoffe's Dear Prudence column provides occasional nuggets of wisdom - I came across this one today. ?I think the concept of stotting translates across to other parts of human relationships, in which they signal their intentions through different behaviors. ?They do something similar ("You should have known a bad day by the way I walked into the house") and often hold people accountable for not getting the message. ?It's important to remember that management as a discipline starts at home. ?If you can't manage yourself - you shouldn't expect to be allowed to manage other people.
06/14/2007
I pulled up my forums page and promptly fell out of my chair.
Apparently it wasn't enough to allow someone access to my forums page without giving rights to modify - my cunning plan to waste spammers' time has failed. ?I have once-again killed my Forums page nevar to return (incorrect spelling is intentional). ?I still like the idea of creating an online space where I can interact with friends and family - I just think I'm too far ahead of the curve; not everyone is hip to PHP.
I've also killed the whole "Private Access" and "Projects" area. ?I can't budget for projects right now, so it doesn't make sense to waste time with Gantt charts. ?On life's balance sheet, I have some things to be pissed off about and a lot of things to be grateful for. ?One of the greatest investments I've made in myself is a concerted effort to reduce and/or eliminate the chaos in my life. ?In some ways, it's taken resources away from me that I have to work to manage. ?In other ways, it's helped me organize my life to the point where those resources don't bother me as much as I thought they might.
But going this route isn't a destination - it's a journey. ?It gives much and demands much. ?It's such a different way of living that I'm having to learn just about living. ?Not philosophy, just basic habits - creating good ones and giving myself permission to lose the bad. ?Some bad habits I pretty much knew about, others became glaringly obvious as I started down the path. ?I don't think it was deliberate, but it was almost like someone was hanging over my head and saying "Okay, you're serious about doing this? ?Okay..." and handing me all kinds of problems and challenges to resolve. ?Some were new, others were the same ol', same ol' - only we had new impetus to resolve them.
I find myself facing these challenges and problems with less panic than before. ?Past success gives you the confidence to meet the new - it also makes you much more optimistic about doing what is hard or trying what looks impossible. ?It's like you start saying "Okay - I thought something was impossible before and I was wrong. ?I need to give this a chance at succeeding." ?It's about recognizing that you don't know everything and that this includes what might possibly go wrong.
That brings up another point - a life tip, if you will. ?Perhaps in past generations, it was enough if you knew just what the problem was. ?That has some value - it does absolve you if the thing you're warning about does transpire and then you look prudent, instead of?alarmist. ?However, these days you must also have the solution. ?The problem with just pointing out the problem is that it doesn't give you a direction to move forward on. ?All it does is say "You can only move backwards". ?Most of the time, moving backwards isn't an option - that's often why we find ourselves at decision points. ?If you can point out the problem?and the solution (and I'm speaking about a legitimate solution that is satisfactory to most everyone...solutions that leave at least one party completely pissed off are not true solutions) then you've made yourself very valuable to the people around you.
I'm working on being more solution-facing and also helping everyone in my family do the same. ?To my friends and family who do not speak to me and yet still read this blog - I invite you to consider what I have said. ?If you think you can contribute - you are welcome to contact me.
06/12/2007
"As a person labeled ?gifted? as an adolescent, this article lead me to reflect on my own intellectual development. Has being ?gifted? undermined my achievement? Possibly. When you?re ?gifted? expectations change. Intelligence becomes your identity. Everyone knows you?re supposed to do well in school. When you don?t surpass other students with ease you feel like a failure.
Having your identity tarnished is very threatening.
If you do live up to expectations, you start to believe you really are gifted, and that your natural gifts will carry you to immense personal success. This leads to an inflated ego and underdeveloped work ethic.
Did this hurt me? It?s possible, but I wouldn?t want to use it as an excuse for personal shortcomings. Still, I?m optimistic. At least I?ve realized that being ?gifted? doesn?t get you anywhere in the real world. That?s something they should teach in schools."
I didn't write this...I wish I would have because then I wouldn't be posting something that I didn't write but I'd be saying the same thing and taking credit for it. It took a long time for me to understand that not everything I wanted to do would come naturally. My assumption for a long time was that I should be able to do anything easily and things that weren't easy weren't worth doing.
I suppose this explains why I didn't stay in Adv. Prep classes in Junior High and High School.
The original link is here and the info it came from is here. On a personal note - I'm doing some work with VMWare and Nagios to create a cheap system monitoring tool for the job. I'm proud of that and wanted to share it with you.
06/08/2007
Utterly exhausted.? Physically,? emotionally, mentally.
That's the trouble with trying to be the best that you can be - life continues to hand you little gut checks.? You can opt out, but doing so all the while knowing that you've put your foot down a path you don't want to be a part of.? Or you can take arms once again to find that striving and struggling never get easier with age.
Someone paid a compliment to me today, while I was commiserating. They said, "regardless of what happens, you are now more aware of your environment and more assertive in getting what you want... and not settling for crap just because."
There are some things to take joy in while this is happening.? The Little Man's antics, for example.? Another is a new personal best in running (6.3 miles).? Another is the sharp iodine taste of Ardbeg Scotch Uigedail. One of the guys at work poured me a shot - I spent 10 minutes sniffing the sharp odor before having a sip.? As much as I hate whiskey snobs - that was some of the best scotch I've ever tasted.? At around $91 a bottle, it's not hard to see why.
Life has thrown a big, stinky curveball our way.? It is a curveball that only exists because there was something we needed to really fix about ourselves...something we needed to get past and move on from.? We know that now and have the opportunity to emerge better than ever.? I wish I could say that I'm tired but happy - I'm just tired right now.? I know that I will be happy again soon enough.
I'm reading to Little Man most every night.? Currently working our way through Robert Louis Stevenson's "Treasure Island".? As old as it is, I found it highly readable and recommend you give it a shot...even if? your taste in older literature has been completely burned out through the careful attention of public school.? She found a nice table at Loews or something and we've painted a nice compass rose on top - keeping the nautical theme of the Little Man's room intact.
I'm also moving forward with the writing projects - I'm finding? that it's not working? for me to try and write linearly.? I have to literally sit down with notepad and go '...and then what happened?'? All the stories I've ever read have become this massive TV-dinner-in-a-paint-shaker and it's up to me to start pulling out stories of my own from the mass.? I still need to have an entry for SBFFF'07.? More on that later.
06/04/2007
Continuing in the same vein that I mined before - sometimes it takes a while to recongize an obvious truth. ?So when I come across one, I want to quickly write it down before I forget. ?Reading this article about helping 20-30-somethings get off the couch and on with their lives reminded me of the uncertainty I felt at starting that path. ?Never mind not knowing what to do, I didn't even know what I did not know. ?All I could do was to stare at the things people did, jobs they held and things they owned and realize that the process by which these were acquired were completely beyond me.
It's scary!
The learning curve was daunting, and yet I found that life had a built-in patience level for a person of my age and there were a number of mentors that took the time to educate me. ?Sometimes the lessons were easy and sometimes I even had the presence of mind to see the lesson as a very large dodged bullet and if I was really on my game, I took the time to thank that person. ?Other times, what should have been patently obvious was not, and a life-lesson hared out of nowhere to pop me straight in the nose.
I hated when that happened.
Over time, the dodged bullets and the nose-pops have become less frequent. ?Mostly because you evolve a natural instinct to look for problems and move adroitly out of their way. ?Whenever the situation seems too simple, when the solution doesn't seem to cover all bases, an alarm starts to go off. ?I get uneasy and then I have to baldly say to someone, "Hey, are you sure we're not on a bus that's about to explode in flames and go careening off the side of the mountain?" ?They might find my question too bold, but I've found that ignoring that little alarm in my head in favor of not offending someone is twice as bad when things really do go wrong and then I have to deal with the problem and the little voice that says "I told you so..."
So a word to the grads having trouble finding jobs - learn to hustle. ?There are very few people who get their lives handed to them, so organized and simple that the process can be outlined and written on 3x5 cards. ?For those people, you hear about them 10 years down the road trying to kill themselves because the straight path they had no problem taking advantage of at 18 turned into a suffocating death trap that they either drown in booze and pills or engage in some crazy scheme to break out of. ?Even people with Masters degrees in Microbiology still have to have a well-formatted resume and need clear penmenship to fill out a job app. ?That's a universal truth whether you're a rocket scientist or you work at Kinkos.
Other grads have that 'entitlement' thing down to a science and they can annoy you with the 'of-course-everything-is-going-to-be-catered-to-me' trip. ?It's not their fault, necessarily. ?Some schools and universities tell them how special they are and they have no reason to think otherwise. ?Thus, the cycle of ignorance and entitlement is assured and continued for as long as there will be ways for people to elevate themselves above the crowd there will also be someone there to whisper, "You deserve this...you are better than them."
Creepy. ?Fortunately, most of them get this bled out rather quickly and life returns to normal.
Learn to hustle, kids - you can make money if you keep your eyes open and your head up. ?Work for what you want, no one can give it to you and no one can take it away.
Here's something fun: An Interview With Berke Breathed - one of my all-time favorite cartoonists.
06/02/2007
As a public service to the people graduating from high school or college in the next 30 days - I would like to announce the following:
No one cares.
I know you're in the grips of a lot of people who like to say that this is one of the most important days of your life. ?I know you're reading the cards, adding up the checks and opening the gifts. ?No one wants to be told that it's fake while it's happening but I'm telling you now so that a month from now - when you're staring down the barrel of your suck-job, your upcoming semester in college, etc. - it won't be too much of a shock.
Check this out - Jostens has an 'ettiquette' page for graduation - Jostens, the people selling you class rings, pictures and graduation robes. ?Hallmark has reduced "Congratulations Graduate" down to "Congrats Grad". ?These are the people who want to convince you, your family and friends that it's A BIG DEAL - the rest of us just don't care...we're driving past the high school on Graduation Day and going "Huh...graduation..." in the time it takes for the light to go red to green. ?Back before the public school system was homogenized to the point where almost anyone could pass, Graduation was a big deal. ?They used to shut the town down - not that you'd know...you were yawning whilst they covered that in History.
So do the 'Grad dance' elsewhere...have your party and please don't drink and drive - at least not while I'm on the road. ?Go ahead and wrap yourself around the tree that night so that we can read about your rising star forever snuffed. ?Here's a quick question -- why are the kids who die young always the 'bright stars, so full of potential, future president/astronaut/CEO/movie stars'? ?Forget I said that.
Learn to celebrate your own accomplishments and skip the phony fanfare - it never lasts and nobody comes back to explain the truth: We were cheering you on so that you'd learn to follow praise. ?Accomplish things on your own and for their own sake...we're sick of buying cards and blowing money on gift cards.
06/01/2007
"I promise you my mail indicates that a surprisingly common and intractable syndrome is the rotten adult sibling who sucks up all the parents' emotional energy (and often money)...then you do have to find a way to accept that you can have only the most circumscribed relationship with your mother. As for your two self-described options, I say choose neither. You shouldn't take abuse, but you're not going to effectively enlighten your sister about her behavior, either." - From 'Dear Prudie'.
05/29/2007
I live in a town called 'Niles' that's actually a subset of the larger bedroom community, Fremont, CA. ?The small-town feel is what I enjoy about it; you can still walk to the neighborhood market and buy an ice cream sandwich on a summer evening and then stroll back casually down tree-lined streets. ?There are enough familiar faces that you can exchange pleasantries, enjoy neighborhood pets and listen to the sounds of kids playing in the schoolyard. ?It's honestly about two steps above some painting by Thomas Kincaide.
Still - other parts about it get to me sometimes - for example, Local cartoonist gets Blogspot account. ?Papa John's is a cartoon studio / photography place that opened in Niles last year. ?There's so much I would like to say, but refrain lest I break one of the rules I set for myself when I restarted the page earlier this year. ?Like a lot of things in Niles, this seems to fall into the category of "good motive, poor execution". ?I'd like to see more things in my town that are 'good motive / good execution', like the Essanay Cafe. ?I yelped about it earlier and still think it's good enough to give it my e-Thumb's Up here.
The reason I mention the cartoon studio / Niles in general is because I've often looked at the hype about Niles and said "Well, if it's that important to history, why isn't it another 'Old-Town Sacramento'?" ?The answer is pretty simple - the movies made here were made by a studio that faded out along with several other small-scale places when the industry shifted itself to Los Angeles. ?Sure, Charlie Chaplin made some films here, but that's like saying KFC is famous because Dave Thomas (the founder of Wendy's) worked there.
Here's a list of the things I'm paying attention to right now:
Richard Scoble's blog - Richard has a lot to say about the Web 2.0 business, as does Gapingvoid - the difference is that Scoble keeps his language SFW (safe for work).
Lifehacker and Lifehack - One of my new mottos is "Clean out the closet". ?Actually, it's not so much a new motto as it is an old motto I never knew I should have. ?Once I got to a point where I knew I couldn't keep things/relationships that were not so important to me and still maintain the things/relationships that were, I had a very simple choice to make. ?The life-hack links are helpful because they're full of useful ways to keep the clutter in your life to a minimum. ?Sometimes it's about what to do and sometimes, it's about how.
The Happiness Project - Another link in the How to do it, file - I know I should be happy, I know why I should be happy - but I need some serious schooling in How to be happy. ?As in, there's not many resources that help you accomplish it on a daily basis. ?Happily - this problem has a solution that does not involve meditating on a mountain top - just go, pick and choose, learn, live.
As reported previously - reversals of fortune occur and sometimes they help you finally get over, get past, get through some challenges you thought you'd never see the other side of. ?I am on my way through that process and can already see the light at the end of the tunnel. ?In the past, I felt as though I was going through this alone with no one really *on my side*. ?This time, I felt as though I had some friends to help and I think their care and concern made the difference.
So - you know who you are - thank you. ?Thank you for being there, for being you and for being my friend. ?The world is a better, richer place because you are here.
05/22/2007
Let me switch on the 'angry curmudgeon' for a moment and talk about something that's been in the back of my mind for a while. ?Body art, modification has become so popular these days it seems almost everyone has a tattoo, a piercing, a stud, a ring or whatever. ?I let most of them slide, tribal tattoos continue to bewilder me: what would white kids know about being 'tribal'? ?Between that and getting Kanji-characters tattooed on your back (this dangerous practice puts you at the mercy of a tat-artist who may or may not inscribe the words "Dumb White Guy" on your back when he's telling you that it's your name).
The one that gets me more than any other is the stretching fad - getting your earlobes stretched. ?I keep seeing more and more people walking around with these little plastic washers in their ear slowly enlarging the hole they shouldn't have made itheir 'lobe in the first place (IMO...). ?Was sticking a ring in your ear not weird enough that you need to enlarge the hole to make sure that, in case the guy 10 feet away was confused about it, you've got your ear pierced?.
Well, bravo, Tonto - go home and scour your family history to see if you're even 1/64th American Indian so you can proudly declare it to the people you're standing in line with at Starbucks. ?An idle thought keeps surfacing every time I see those large-getting-larger earlobes: as a dare - would they be willing to let someone do a trick-shot through the hole? ?I bet a .22 would fit - see if a trick shooter would be willing to pull it off on the re-make of "That's Incredible!"
Wikipedia is such an awesome resource - issues of accuracy aside; I look forward to a time when we can tell our kids - you know, in my day we didn't have Wikipedia. ?If we wanted to know something, we had to go and look it up! ?That is, if we were lucky enough to own the full-volume encyclopedia from Funk & Wagnalls - if not, you had to go to your friends house or the library!
05/21/2007
When things are going well, you sometimes forget how quickly and easily a reversal of fortune can occur.? I had forgotten that important lesson and am learning it all over again.? I'm happy to report that S.W.,? fresh on the tail of his help with my two commercials has landed his first paying gig as a cinematographer for a documentary on the hybrid car.? I am happy that a friend's dream is coming true.
This weekend, I watched 6 different movies and ran 5.6 miles.? I enjoyed the slow, majestic flight of a B-17 and B-24 as they wheeled lazy circles over the Bay Area.? Their beauty is marred by the fact that beauty was not what they were designed for.? I appreciate them simply as vintage technology.? I enjoy Little Man's antics and his two-tooth grin.? He looks like a miniature teletubby innnn his flannel or terrycloth jammers - a simple pleasure that brings me great happiness is just spending time with him.
The two whales stuck? in the Sacramento Delta remind me of 'Humphrey the Whale', back when I was a kid in 4th grade.? Through a serendipitous stroke of luck, we had a kid in class who was rather large...his last name was Humphries.? Thus was his nickname bestowed - such is my first experience with a thing I would not have a name for, for years: meme.? In retrospect, it was rather cruel - Chris Humphries, wherever you are - I'm sorry I helped give you that name.
I thought this was a great article - useful regardless of where you are at in your career.
New things I have done on my job this month:? Set up a PHP/MySQL/Apache environment (twice).? Renew SSL certs for the production website.? Smeared beauty cream on my face and lit a laptop on fire (Not in the same day).? Everyone should have so much fun.
05/13/2007
The Third Commercial...
One of the best and worst things about parenting is that you have almost complete control over the situation. When things are going well - you're free to take all the credit and must share it with none. When it's going wrong - you have no one to share the blame with. It is fun adventuring with your kid.
05/09/2007
With an utter lack of irony - George Lucas said the following regarding?Spiderman 3:
"It's silly. It's a silly movie," he said. "There just isn't much there. Once you take it all apart, there's not much story, is there?"
Funny, this is what I said about his last three movies. ?Original link is here.
I've had this discussion with people so many times - written about it twice here - most people are content to submit honor after honor to Mr. Lucas. ?The problem is, his body of work in comparison to his peer directors (Spielberg, Scorsese, etc.) is not only much smaller but falls remarkably short in its ability to tell a compelling story.
The first Star Wars managed to tell a simple story well - we felt good after watching it. ?Even as the stories became progressively geared toward the Kenner-action-figure market (ages 6-12...I was part of this demographic), they still managed to hold up. ?Going twenty years into the future, we who had grown up with these movies were still expecting a movie that would be geared toward us. ?That was probably unreasonable, but I realize now that this was how I felt.
Comparing Mr. Lucas' directorship with others of his era (and that era is still ongoing, by the way) - I can't help but feel that he is really, really good at keeping Star Wars going for as long as he has, but anybody who wants to call himself a director first should have hung it up years ago. ?Even a person like Stanley Kubrik didn't rest on his copious laurels (The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, Dr. Strangelove) but kept going right up until the point where he couldn't (because he was dead). ?Steven Spielberg had his for-kids movies like?ET?and?Raiders of the Lost Ark (which, let's face it - Raiders is a kid's movie - just a very, very good one) but he's also had his other movies like?Amistad, The Color Purple and Empire of the Sun?where you walk out of the theatre going "Wow".
I wish George Lucas could make me say "Wow".
In a perfect world, Mr. Lucas would have taken a page from Spielberg and Scorsese and found some other story to tell. ?That's the best way to describe why I feel his movies are disappointing and movies from Steven Spielberg are consistently among my favorites. ?I wish Lucas had taken the Robert Rodriguez challenge and tried to shoot something for $7,000, like Rodriguez did with El Mariachi. ?Maybe he is, was or could still be a relevant director - I just wish he'd strip out the special effects and try.
05/08/2007
The 2nd Commercial...
We shot this on Friday night and by Sunday night I had a good cut. That's a substantially shorter timeline than my 3-week-everyone-asking-when-it-would-be-finished production schedule for the previous commercial. I think the camera/shooting quality is drastically better than previously. This commercial marks the first commercial that SW and I have made together - really awesome. I'm hoping to have the second commercial cut and available by the end of the week.
05/03/2007
The plan this weekend is to quick-bang shoot 2 different commercials for release on the Internet.
It has become clear to me that my life is in a constant state of revision and change. ?Sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better. ?Although some of the things I've been learning recently are a bit uncomfortable to go through, it's helped me take my steps into a larger world. ?I just wish I had someone like Alec Guiness to guide me through.
Interesting quote - "The price of being a sheep is boredom. ?The price of being a wolf is loneliness. ?Choose wisely." ?Everyone wants to choose "wolf" because it sounds so much cooler. ?The reality is, doing what you think is right is not popular and it sometimes makes you lonely. ?Previously, I was prepared to sacrifice a little individuality for companionship. "It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not," said Andre Gide. ?Worse still is a wolf who fakes being a sheep to get along - he's neither a sheep, nor a wolf.
I am a wolf. ?Not because I want to be cool, or a loner or have it sewn onto a high school letter jacket. ?I'm a wolf because I gotta be me. ?Getting along to go along is not something I do well - my path is to be myself...and sometimes the only person walking there is me. ?I just saw a really great quote, which I am adding to my Pithy Quotes page - It is not enough to aim; you must hit.
04/25/2007
News on the Internet is getting so predictable. Everyone more or less knew the story about Don Imus was a waste of time, but it was a slow news week. Don't focus on the depressing stories that have no easy solution (kids being abused to death, terrorism or global warming). Focus on the easy little problem that is so eminently solvable that it provides a?tonic to the grim realities just outside your front door.
Meanwhile, just when your bile duct got ready to kick into overdrive - a nutty kid in Virginia made guys like Charles Whitmore and places like the Luby Cafeteria footnotes in the annals of mass shootings. ?The cable news yammer posse started up again without scarcely a pause for breath. ?It went from "Don Imus - scourge of the airwaves" to "Don Who?" in about .34 seconds. ?That, if nothing else does, should convince you how much they contribute to the basic process of information broadcast. ?So - without focusing on that stuff, I just wanted to mention it so that you'd know I've been paying attention.
There's been a number of items I wanted to talk about in this space, maybe publish another Dose or 4. ?I'm purposely staying out of that to remain focused on writing something larger and possibly worth selling. ?Not that I have found myself writing that much, of course, but the only person I can blame for that is me. ?Much activity and yardwork abound - much activity in reconnecting with friends and family.
Random Business Thought - Large organizations can become unintentional advocates for failure. ?When the culture of an organization forces its management and employees to advocate positions they do not agree with, it unwittingly spits in the eye of everyone who was taught "do the right thing". ?Small organizations can do this, too but since they're smaller and much more prone to failure - they tend to sink out of view pretty quickly.
When a large organization has a culture of failure advocacy and doesn't die but rather survives in spite of it, this creates an alternate reality where the failures are seen to be successful, or at the very least unpunished. ?Other people take their cues from this - "I guess it's okay - look at Employee X, he didn't get fired." ?Innovation takes a back seat to the discipline of playing the game. I came out of a previous experience, afraid to trust my own instincts because I kept hearing about how wrong they were. ?Once I got into a space where I had to rely on myself to deliver a task or a project, I found that I was pretty good after all.
04/17/2007
Happy Tax Day.
I left the house early with a truckload of old computers, printers, stereos and associated rubbish to the e-waste drop-off.? After many years of collecting and holding onto items that had, at best, a marginal value - I decided that I was better off dumping it off and stop waiting for the right moment when all this junk would finally be worth the time and effort it took to store it.? Call it an affirmation of 'anti-pack-rat syndrome'.
Got to the office early and bought a coffee from Red Rock.? On the way back, I spoke with an older gent who had a table set up.? He had pinto beans, bags and bags of them - estimated to be around 500,000.? His purpose was to show that each bean represented $1 Million that the U.S. would end up spending in Iraq.? In our 45-second discussion, he mentioned the desire to see how far these beans would stretch if placed end to end.? Sounded like a good excuse to whip out a calculator to me.? I'm not interested in the political aspect; I just like interesting math problems.
Assuming the average length of a pinto bean is 1/3 of an inch, assuming that he did, in fact have 500,000 beans (they were in sealed plastic bags, I doubt he counted them) - that would equal roughly 150,000 feet or 28.4 miles.? That's a lot of chili.
I read this today - thought it was worth sharing: "All coping does is waste your time and misdirect your energy. If the best you can do is cope, you?re better off quitting."
From - The Dip, by Seth Godin
04/10/2007
Among the more heinous of crimes by Lou Pearlman are the creation of both N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys.? In fact, I'd go as far as saying that Lou Pearlman is one of the principal offenders in the vast wasteland that is Pop Music of the last 10 years.? But, look past that - you've already heard all I care to say on that subject.
Until now.
Now - in addition to everything else that you hate about Lou Pearlman, there's the fact that he's skipped town with maybe a half-billion dollars in his pocket and the Feds are looking for him.? No joke - read about it here.
Sometimes I think the reason that the legal system gets so over-protective in one area of crime (corporate accounting fraud, drugs, take your pick) is because there's someone who not only makes the news for his/her flagrant abuse of the law but they also get away with it more or less.? The legal system responds but by that time, the original mutt or scumbag is off to new, better ways to offend society.
I think the legal system let us down - as soon as everyone realized this guy inflicted not one completely decadent white-boys-with-no-talent-New-Kids-On-The-Block-throwback group, but two of them (which is almost like saying you were guilty engineering not only one genocide but two - musically speaking) - the Feds and every other law enforcement agency should have been watching him.
It should have been clear to them that there was no telling what he was capable of.
04/07/2007
It's inevitable that every time a lottery starts reaching a sufficiently-large number you start getting stories in the news where 'lottery fever' is driving people to spend large amounts of money buying tickets in the hopes of turning their 1:320,000,000 odds of winning into something like 100:320,000,000.? This is, of course, another way of saying that their odds of winning are 1:3,200,000.
Yeah, yeah - it's more likely to be hit by lightning or killed by a shark.? We've all heard it.
But let's say you do? win the lottery - it's a nice dream...wake up and find you're worth 10, 20 or even 200 Million dollars.? Nothing else to worry about for the rest of your life,? right?
Wrong.? Check this story out - Powerball Winner Says He's Cursed by His Jackpot
I don't play the lottery, so I don't plan on this happening to me.? But, if I woke up one day and found myself with that kind? of money, I think the safest thing I could do would be to fake my own death and then move to another country.? Maybe that's what Ken Lay did.
03/28/2007
I'm proud to announce the return of my photography page.
Rather than re-publishing the travelogues I had cranked out previously, I started from scratch picking out pictures I thought I could be proud of.? Please enjoy and feel free to tell me what you think.
Photography is accessed by the link to the left (<--)
03/27/2007
"Now understand, on The Cinematic Evolutionary Scale, Date Flicks are one step above Government Training Films, and one below Infomercials. At any particular moment in this movie?s playing time you can go to the bathroom, get popcorn and soda, and check your phone for messages, and when you get back you won?t have missed a thing. And should you nod off or become otherwise distracted, the folk/soft rock soundtrack is relentlessly constant and undemanding. Sure, things do seem to stale towards the end, since once the last plot development is in place, its outcome is obvious. But this was intentional, not only to make it the required 90 minutes, but also to guarantee an audience anxious to exit as soon as the lights come up."
I saw this in a review of some forgettable movie on Netflix - I thought I'd hold it up as a "yes, this is how I feel" sign when it comes to bad movies. For $10 ( and yes, the UC 25 is now charging $10 for a movie), you should not feel this way.
Just my two cents.
03/21/2007
The Commercial.
03/20/2007
"[O]ne thing I did learn after years of studying advanced logic theory is that proficiency in argument can easily be used to overpower others, even when you are dead wrong. If you learn a few tricks of logic and debate, you can refute the obvious, and defend the ridiculous. If the people you?re arguing with aren?t as comfortable in the tactics of argument, or aren?t as arrogant as you are, they may even give in and agree with you.
"Smart people often fall into the trap of preferring to be right even if it?s based in delusion, or results in them, or their loved ones, becoming miserable. "
- Why smart people defend bad ideas
03/14/2007
One of the nice things about my page re-design is that I don't feel as obligated to keep this page regularly updated, or to apologize if I haven't said anything in a while.? In the previous iteration, I was updating the page on a lot of fronts. Not only did it mean I was pushing out articles and updates that weren't really all that much to get excited about (unless, of course, you happen to be me - I find myself endlessly entertaining) but I always felt guilty if too much time had gone by.
I think it's probably worth noting (and I preface this by saying "Don't bother trying to read into this or asking me if there's a hidden meaning or coming up to me later on to hold me accountable for the unspoken meaning you infer must be there.? Just read it.") that doing things just because you'd feel guilty if you didn't do them only carries you so far.? It's far better to find something more positive to motivate yourself with.
And when I am motivated, I can do some interesting things.? As I noted in my entry below - the company asked me to direct a Youtube-based commercial to help get the name out as well as help recruiting new talent.? That commercial was completed as of yesterday.
I've gotten a lot of rave reviews by people - I'm proud of it and proud of the people who got together to make it happen.? At some point, I'll do a brief director's commentary to talk about what happened, how it came together and all that.
I did some snowboarding this last weekend - the snow bus was a much-improved alternative to coordinating a ski/snow day with other people.? I pushed myself harder, did better and genuinely had more fun.? You might wish to check them out - they are here.
I can't remember exactly where or how it was said, but it is also worthwhile to note that when you are grappling with an opponent who is able to resist that move, the answer is not to overcome him with brute strength but rather to engage him so that your attack removes his ability to do same.? I've applied that philosophy to some of my lingering issues and have found it rather effective.
02/21/2007
I'm doing a lot of creative things right now.? My company approached me with the chance to film a commercial that we'll be releasing to Youtube.? I'll be working on that Friday night and show you the finished product when I get it.? We're in the process of filming multiple pieces that will showcase the company and (hopefully) attract the right kind of technical talent.? I'm really honored that they're asking me.? In addition, I'm filming a couple of productions for release at the South Bay Friends Film Festival 2007.
I've also decided to throw my hat in the ring and make some t-shirts.? Through the nice folks at Uberprints.com - I printed up and created these 4 designs.? The fun of having a weird t-shirt is often off-set by the reality that most places want a 12-shirt order ($400 and change) before they'll consider taking you on.? I didn't want to invest that much time and so this has been languishing ever since.? I was afraid to make these shirts because every time I asked anybody what they thought of them, I'd get a mixed reaction - some people liked them, some didn't - I'd eventually have to explain what it was about.? I was reading a blog entry over at Gapingvoid.com where a marketing consultant talks about the gritty, grim realities of being creative.? He said a few things that really struck me:
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Nobody cares. Do it for yourself.
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Sing in your own voice.
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Write from the heart.
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The best way to get approval is not to need it.
Although he's pretty crude and crass - he walloped a few points into my head.? Right after I finished reading it - I turned around and immediately ordered the shirts from where they were sitting on the web server for almost 8 months.? They arrived and even though it doesn't look like anyone cares, it's something that I wanted to do and I've done it.? Now I can move on with my life.
I took The Wife and Kid to SF for a picnic, which was good planning because the part where we visited museums that turned out to be closed was, in fact, poor planning.? Otherwise, a beautiful day in SF - a great day for taking pictures.? Eventually, I'll republish those pictures I used to have on the website back to the website.? Just need some time to re-org and publish.
I spent quite a bit of time updating the Family (<--) page; check out the updated pictures of my family and some more family history.
02/16/2007
I found this article to be particularly interesting and insightful.
02/14/2007
On Monday night, I sat in the back of the Bob's Big Boy on Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills.? There was no entertainment, save for the two old broads who sent back the coconut cream pie on account that it didn't look as good in real life as it did on the menu.
Somehow I think the old birds missed the lesson from Life 102B that says - "Don't hassle the waiter - a lot can happen between the line and your table."? I was worn out from the day, nothing screams "Comfort Food" more than a club sandwich and fries.? I left him a $5 tip on a $11 check and drove off into the night.
Rodeo Drive was deserted as I drove along it.? All the stores were closed save for some photo shoot happening at the Bulgari store.? Gawkers were lined up outside but a rent-a-cop was there to shoo them back as they got too close.? I gawked for as long as it took the light to go from red to green and then I was gone.? Driving up Rodeo to Santa Monica, I finally saw the Beverly Hills Hotel in real life.? I hung a left on Santa Monica and then U-turned my way back down to cruise down Beverly.? Nice homes, I thought.? I toyed with the idea of ringing the bell at a random house and asking "'Scuse me.? Are you, in fact, a famous person?? How'd you afford this house?"? I doubt their security staff would have a sense of humor about it.
When I checked out the next morning, a guy wearing an honest-to-god yarmukle talked about his flight from Israel was talking with the front desk.? I breakfasted on ten-dollar french toast that tasted like it should have cost six.? Beverly Hills was sunny and slightly warm - I cruised into the office with the windows rolled down; this made it convenient to gesture and scream at other drivers.? Whatever you've heard about LA traffic is true.
02/06/2007
Any half-awake student of politics will tell that the cast of characters, at least at the top, remain fairly constant.? Looking back over previous election campaigns, you keep seeing the same 20-30 names.? Various times, various roles, but always these same people.? Dole, GHW Bush, Cheney, Buchanan.? The faces remain the same ? should help you understand why the tune doesn?t change very often.
Reading old essays that examine politics has taught me a few things ? I was reading a collection of them while soaking in a very-hot bath last night.? Rediscovering the hot bath has been a joy for me.? The water gets so hot that every part of my skin that?s underwater turns a very bright pink.? I?m sure that I?m risking first-degree burns, but other than that ? I feel great.? Add to that some bath salts, a cold drink (non-alcoholic?) and an essay entitled ?The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved?.? Now you have a fairly good idea of how I spent my Monday night.
The cat insists on supervising for some reason.? She sits outside the bathtub and watches me carefully.? She hates water, hates baths so maybe she?s trying to understand why I might enjoy them.? She used to follow me to the community pool but her presence seemed to upset others so now I leave her at home.? I have to get into the bath when it?s fairly warm ? wait for a bit before I add the really hot water.? It?s the only way to do it ? getting into water that?s too warm is pure torture at first.
I?m getting older ? enjoying creature comforts more.? Skipping a toddy at bedtime in favor of a cup of peppermint tea and some mindless drivel of a movie.? That?s my go-to-bed ritual now.? The baby sometimes sits with me, but he?s so uncultured that I?ve stopped bothering to explain why Ashton Kutcher is unfunny and instead let him giggle at Comcast commercials.? There?s no accounting for taste.
01/31/2007
"[S]omehow it sounded, if you blocked out the actual words, exactly like something that would make a small monkey hit itself in the face with a brick, intentionally."
The rest of it is here.
01/29/2007
As you can see on the left (<-), I've republished my Doses and Dark Sides.? I took the time to publish only what I considered my better stuff so I hope that you enjoy it.
It's also worth noting that the SBFFF '07 Production Season has kicked off, with a view to creating at least 1 new short film for presentation at the Film Festival.? Between this, working on a few other film projects, work, family, etc., 2007 is going to be a busy year.
01/25/2007
As part of my own personal metamorphosis, I've been paying a lot more attention to people who are working to make their own lives more meaningful, efficient, fun, etc.? Being willing to learn is key, who you are learning from is not.? So without endorsing anything or recommending anything, I wanted to put this link out there as I got some interesting stuff out of it:
http://www.happinessproject.typepad.com/
As I find other sites worth a look, I'll add them.? Until then, please enjoy.? In other news, the police log of the Arcata Eye is still funny.? To wit:
Tuesday, December 19 12:17 a.m. A billiards enthusiast threw a pool ball at a fellow bar patron, a subtle tactic which technically isn?t within the rules.
1:03 a.m. Two words one would hope not to have to use in describing a Plaza hotel lodger would be ?belligerent? and ?unruly.?
3:12 a.m. A Plaza hotel desk clerk was reportedly assaulted by a woman being escorted from the building, who was likely neither ?whimsical? nor ?chipper.?
1:02 p.m. A bicyclist and his riding companion were pelted with oranges from a dark Honda Civic with Wisconsin plates while riding down California Avenue.
7:15 a.m. Someone went nutso with spray paint in the night, slathering a business in the 400 block of I Street ??windows, everything. Arcata Police have posted a $500 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the culprits. (707) 822-2428.
8:21 a.m. More evidence that some people can?t be trusted with an aerosol nozzle in the 400 block of G Street.
9:55 a.m. Even a store?s delivery truck wasn?t immune from nocturnal tagging.
11:52 a.m. An Oasis Street resident got an answering machine message from some guy yelling and swearing. Then he called again and he carried on the tempestuous tirade. But when she told him he probably had a wrong number, this news induced a drastic mood swing ? he laughed and hung up.
1:54 p.m. A Hilfiker Drive resident reported candy cane decorations transferred by unknown forces from his front yard to a telephone wire up the street.
http://www.arcataeye.com/index.php?module=pagesetter&tid=2&topic=7
01/20/2007
I saw this today and it really got to me.? I wanted to share it with you.
The USS Grunion was a WWII-era submarine that disappeared somewhere around Alaska.? For 60 years, details of its location and the circumstances of its demise were either very spotty or unknown.? As of last year, they finally located it off the coast of Kitka, Alaska where it lies on the bottom of the ocean following an engagement with a Japanese ship.
Looking at the wreck this way, it reminds me of times I'd find kid's toys lying on the bottom of Pinecrest lake submerged in shallow water.? It's easy to see it as a simple toy - but then you remember that it isn't - that 70 men died on it and are still there.? Just makes you think.
Details about the USS Grunion are here
In my house, we're always looking for ways to make things work better, faster and move on with our day.? I ran across this website:
That has all manner of do-it-yourself projects, tips, links to open source software with the express purpose of making your life run better.? I thought you might find it useful, I know I did.
01/19/2007
Yes, folks, we're back on the air.? Believe me, no one is more surprised than I am.
When I pulled the plug on the page a few weeks ago - all the frustration I had been feeling about publishing the web page built to a very specific head.? I felt like that old man who spends several years building a model railroad in his basement that subsequently tears it all apart and gives it away now that there's nothing left to build.? I told various people about my intention to stop publishing the page.? I got a lot of responses - some people thought it was best not to put too much personal information on the Internet.? Others were surprised.? "Why?" they asked.? "You love doing this."? I'd respond with a mixed version of my message that I posted on the 1st - about how I didn't want the stuff I talked about here to come back to me as Exhibits A-L in someone's personal litigation of my character.
I felt angry about it.? I felt like the people who were dragging me down had won.? I also felt bad about not having a vehicle to pontificate via TCP/IP about the (on-average) 34 random things I found illogical, strange or just plain stupid about the local world I live in.? It's one thing to be that angry curmudgeon who fills anyone's ear within reach about That Which is Most Wrong With the World.? It's quite another thing to try and do so in a way that's more insightful and creative than the average "Rant and Rave" on Criagslist.
As I've said it before in previous Doses, Dark Sides, blog entries, et cetera.? I write because I write because I write.? It's what I do.? If I don't do it, bad things start stacking up in my head and I've got no place to put them.? Even if I don't get paid to write, I'd write.? Actually, I'm not really paid right now...but that should tell you something about my commitment to the creative process.? And my desire for more money.
With this new edition of the page - I'm going to take this in a slightly different direction.? I'm going to offer the same content, but I'm going to be exercising more care about my editorial process through the magic of password-protected directories.? I'll still keep some things available - like the 105mm Films page, some of my pictures, etc. - but the stuff that's for you and me - that'll be where only you and I can see them.
So thank you - thank you for visiting and responding and telling me that you enjoy what I wrote.? I appreciate your kind words and I'm hoping we'll find a way to have even more fun in the future.
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