TimWoolery.net Documenting the Journey and the Learning Curve

#65 – Lesson 2: Living on Your Own (Collecting tin cans for fun and profit!)

Being an Adult ? 101

Lesson 2: Living on Your Own (Collecting tin cans for fun and profit!)

Stuff You?ll Need ? Moving out in itself is an expensive proposition?you?ll need money, first and foremost. No, let me qualify that: you?ll need a steady source of a lot of money if you want to move out and stay moved out on your own. What does that mean? It means a job, a steady one. Keep in mind that just because you make $1500 in a month doesn?t mean that you can afford that $1300 a month rent on that pad you?ve been eyeing in the paper. To afford all the newfound expenses you?re taking on, you are going to need to make somewhere between 2 or 3 times whatever the cost of your rent is. That?s not my number, either. Take a trip to an apartment complex and ask what it?s going to take to rent a place. There you will be introduced to the wonderful world of credit reports. All those late payments to MasterCard? That time you skipped out on paying BMG for some crap CD?s you didn?t even want? It?s going to come back to haunt you. The next major thing you?re going to need is something to sleep on. Your parents may or may not allow you to take your furniture with you, unless of course, you actually paid for it. Other than that, expect to need a good thou or two to buy some crap furniture to sit, eat, sleep and keep junk on. Ikea is your friend, so are moving sales, Craigslist and that used furniture store you always made fun of. You might be tempted to blow your savings on a TV, DVD player and a stereo system louder than a shuttle launch. Consider the simple joy of having your own plates to eat off of and flatware other than whatever came out of KFC and/or Dr. Chau?s Country Kitchen. Also, eating out is expensive, especially if you?re doing it three times a day. Learn to cook for yourself ? it saves money in the long run. It?ll mean an initial investment of a couple hundred bucks in cooking stuff (pots, pans, etc.) but you?ll notice a difference within the first 45 days. Good return on investment, as they say. You?ll also need some other things like medicine (cough syrup doesn?t spontaneously appear on the cabinet shelf) and cleaning supplies (hint: Lysol doesn?t cover every odor). You don?t have to acquire all of this stuff prior to moving out or in the first 36 hours but you will start to notice it missing fairly quickly so it?s best to have it before then.

God is in the details ? Before you get all freaked out by reading a Mies van der Rohe quote, I ought to confess, I took it from a Michael Crichton book I read once. Airport novels are my guilty pleasure. Aside from that, be aware that I apply the quote this way: as an adult, details are everything. Those small things you think are unimportant are actually the grease that makes the wheel of life move ?round. So don?t knock them. When you were a kid, chores were optional, something you did if you didn?t want to get into Dutch with the folks. Now that you?re a big boy, those chores will become something you?ll need to get used to juggling. As an adult, your idea of a good day will become a day when you got everything done. Isn?t that depressing? Yeah?pretty much?it is. That?s why you see most adults looking they way they do. They used to be hip and cool and then life grabbed ?em, put ?em in the harness and said ?Run for 150,000 miles and don?t look at the scenery on the way?. It does something to you. That doesn?t mean you can?t have fun along the way but it?ll be one of those things that you?re probably going to have to plan more than just have happen. Try getting your friends together for a dinner and a movie when you?re 27. The flip side is that you?ll find other activities that you enjoy as an adult that you couldn?t get into when you were 16 or 18. The end result of all those credit card payments on time is that when you need to buy something expensive and having the clerk give you a funny look and then say ?Right away, sir!? The details will make you or break you: guaranteed. Then, because adult life is all about balance, you?re going to see the need not to be so focused on the details that you can?t see what?s happening around you. Another subset of the things that I have learned is that frequently, adult life is about successfully understanding contrasting ideas and making them work for you. Be aware.

The Blessing and the Curse ? Being an adult is what it is. There are periods of it being not fun and periods of it being the best thing that ever happened to you. The one thing that is always constant is that you can never reverse the growing up process. Think about it: what a tragedy your life would be if you were to crawl back into the box after going through all of that to break out? As a result, since you have to walk the walk after talking the talk, you?re stuck with it. Can?t run from it, can?t hide. The best you can hope for is to have a good safe place to hide out and catch your breath when the harsh realities start closing in. The blessings that come from it is knowing that you are becoming who you dreamed of being for so long. It is entirely up to you. That means that you can make the rules and to blazes with what everyone else says. ?Be who you are and say what you feel,? quoth Dr. Seuss. ?The ones that mind don?t matter and the ones who matter don?t mind.? Take some risks and chase some opportunities with your life. Throw your heart into becoming what you want to be and let the fire that?s been smoldering make a fire that can be seen ?round the world. I never listen to high school graduation speeches, mostly because it?s too ironic to see the valedictorian make all of these idiotic predictions about the success or failure of their graduating class only to be bagging groceries at the Winn-Dixie a few months later when reality sets in. However, you?ve got to dream and hold onto those dreams hard because adult life will suck them right out if you let it. Seek out the mountain top and then try like mad to climb to it. When you reach it, you?ll see another mountain to climb, rest assured. Like Marie Curie said, ?I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done.? See the balance you need to strike, achieve it and then use the remaining time to go for the gold. Sounds nutty at the start, you?ll see the need for it later on.

- Next installment - Working Life - They Call it "The Grind" For a Reason

- Tim Woolery, 5/21/04