TimWoolery.net Documenting the Journey and the Learning Curve

#64 – Being an Adult – 101

Welcome to this class, folks. It started on the philosophy that many things about being an adult you need to learn for yourself. Once learned, you?re rather surprised to know that no one bothered to explain it to you beforehand. That being the case and since I know many people have tried to explain it to me, I?m going to show my appreciation by passing along the knowledge that it took me so much blood, sweat and tears to learn. May it save you from some pain. The course is organized into simple aphorisms that are then expanded (slightly) to keep them from being too dense. Enjoy.

Lesson 1: Graduating High School and ?Welcome to the Big Time!?

Prepare to Learn ? So, now you?ve hung up the graduation cap and gown. They?ll become curious mementos in about two years and you?ll end up throwing them out within 10 years while wondering what you hung onto them for. Funny part is, even though you?ve got a piece of paper from a state-accredited school saying that you know something, the learning has just begun. You are going to learn things that they can?t test for using the SAT or the ASVAB or the CTBS. Life lessons frequently begin like a bar fight: a cold sock to the jaw followed by minutes of wrestling and scrabbling?hopefully no one pulls a knife. You weren?t planning to learn this but you?re about to. How well you do isn?t as important as how intact you are at the end of it and bear in mind: it?s going to happen again so take notes ? you will be tested again and again and again. It?s going to require some gray matter to wrap your brain around all of these lessons, although it seems at the time that you?re being subjected to some sort of psychotic behavioral experiment. Anger is a normal reaction but just remember: the reason it is hard is because you are applying a child?s solution to adult problems. You will need to learn new solutions to these new problems and then it will be easier. Note that I said ?easier?, not ?easy?. It will never be easy.

Don't Panic. ? While learning the above lessons, you may be tempted to react defensively. It?s normal to be scared of all these new ideas, events and demands on you. But just like the front cover of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy says, "Don't Panic". It?s not that bad and you will get through it. How do I know? It?s based on the faith that since thousands of people just as smart as you were faced with the same challenge and they are still breathing, you will do the same. Just like that moment when you first grabbed the monkey bars and began to swing. That one moment when you let go from the first one to swing to the next and for a split second you could have lost your grip and fallen into a tanbark mud puddle?but you didn?t. You caught the next one and the next and the next. It?ll be the same for this as well. Part of you has to shut down that little voice screaming ?What if?? in the back of your head. He might keep you from danger but he has an equal chance at preventing you from achieving your goals. It?s okay to be angry, but be sure that your anger has a purpose. Just losing it in the middle of a restaurant because the waiter couldn?t bring you fresh bread?that?s childish. Being angry when you need to stand up for yourself, when people are trying to belittle you, that?s being an adult.

Get a job, you bum! ? The preceding statement is applicable for anyone, going to school in the fall, or not. You?re of the legal age in your state. At this date, your parents have invested around $100,000 in raising you. Like any other major project, they?re eager to see some return on the investment. Those lazy days of watching TV until your eyes bleed?that?s over now, pal. Having a regular job or other activity that significantly contributes to the good of society is what you?re going to need to accomplish very soon now. Don?t put it off; remember, this is all largely practice for later. Pick something you?d like to try and if you hate it, it?s okay! You?re still going to come home to a roof over your head. Don?t hold off experimenting until you?re trying to make rent, married and have three kids under the age of 5. Even if you can?t find a job you like, that?s also part of the fun. Learn to deal with some lousy situations and see if it builds some character in you that you didn?t know was there. Challenge yourself, prove yourself, grow.

Next Week: Lesson 2: Living on Your Own (Collecting tin cans for fun and profit!)

- Tim Woolery, 5/18/04