TimWoolery.net Documenting the Journey and the Learning Curve

#45 – Rock n Roll Pt.2

As a follow-up to my previous drivel about the state of music these days, I thought it would be a good idea to comment on how much pop has changed from the glory days of guys like Elvis, Chuck Berry and the Beatles to the clones that Clear Channel is pumping out nowadays. This article sparked it, a commentary on one of the newest pop pooches to grace the spotlight, Avril Lavigne. Whether you love or hate her, the article goes a long way to suggest that Avril is desirable because she is such the anti-thesis of Britney and others of her ilk. The article spouts many gems about Avril, one of which I quote here: ?And in a song like ?My World,? she captures suburban boredom as succinctly as any high school diary:? That?s a marvelous idea, but there?s one little problem?

Avril doesn?t write her own music!

That?s right boys and girls! Avril is a manufactured star with music that was written for her and a band she didn?t form-she?s just as fake as Britney. I?d go into greater detail but you can get the whole story above and form your own opinions. The problems go deeper than that and the story gets messier the further down you go. Did you know that neither Pink nor Christina Aguilera write their own music? Did you also know that Pink?s and Christina?s songs were written by the same person? That?s correct, you heard it here first! The songs on ?Stripped? and ?Missundaztood? were both written in large part by Linda Perry. Who is Linda Perry? Don?t worry, it isn?t Joe Perry in drag, Linda Perry fronted the band 4 Non Blondes about 10 years ago. They had 2 singles but I think everyone can remember her belting out ?What?s Up?? at the Grammys a few years ago. I came away with that with only one thought in my mind: that is the SCARIEST chick I have ever seen! Come to think of it, I'd rather see Joe Perry in drag, but that's another subject. I have yet to do the work-up on Britney to see which corporate factory spews out her lyrics, will check back in when I?ve got ?em. Suffice to say, I?ll bet you a shiny new dime that neither Ms. Spears, Justin Timberlake or any of the other kings, queens and ?queens? of pop have composed and written all the music on the albums graced by their respective visages.

?But so what, Tim?? is the rallying cry. ?Pop has always been manufactured.? While it?s true that we?ve had our share of the Johnny Bravos in among the real artists, nothing can compare with this spate of brats. It?s a fairly simple concept: you take a fresh young face off of a kids show, surround them with experienced industry people, have them do the vocals on an album they didn?t write or compose music for and then shuttle them around to all the media you can cram into a 24-hour day. Time in the studio gives way to photo shoots and media blitzes. Tours are organized, airplay is negotiated; Clear Channel is not only the biggest radio company in America but it also owns SFX, the biggest concert promotion company in the US, for your pop star shopping convenience.

Have we commented on how different media arms always seem to help ?stars? up the ladder? Let?s talk about that. Viacom (I know you know them) owns Nickelodeon, our friendly neighborhood kids programming channel. Nickelodeon has gone a long way from the low-rent programming (Remember ?You Can?t Do That on Television??) to what it is now. Kids appearing on shows as ?musical talent? often go on to appear on TRL hyping up their new albums. Is it any wonder? MTV and Nickelodeon are owned by the same company! 13-year-old females are now one of the major demographics in the music business. TRL is a show aimed primarily at that market and surprise, surprise, Britney, Justin, Pink and Christina are selling gold records. Meanwhile, the real talent behind the flesh-plastic are underpaid, ignored and have to live with the fact that their talents will never be as recognized because they can?t bust a move or move their busts (usually in the A to C direction).

Music as an art form has always relied on those who wealthy enough to nurture them. It?s as timeless as Mozart and Beethoven (both wrote symphonies for wealthy patrons and nobility). True, anyone can sell out, but you never saw Verdi wearing a belly shirt for the De Medicis. Haven?t belly shirts gotten out of hand? Britney started wearing ?em and now every single new female artist must wear one. Thank God we didn?t start this custom when Momma Cass was alive.

Every once in a while, you?ll see a quote-unquote famous person write their own memoirs. It?s always funny to see their names listed above the title and the smaller note at the bottom ?With So-and-so? as the ghost (and often real) writer. That in and of itself is forgiveable because you can imagine the scene. Someone walks up to Jeff Foxworthy or Shaquille O?Neal and says ?You should write your life story?here, work with this guy.? And they might come up with the story on their own, I keep picturing Jeff Foxworthy showing up one day with something that is about the thickness of the phone book and only slightly less interesting. I can put up with that. After all, they still have to tell their own story, even if someone has to come in and laboriously tighten up the writing to make it readable. Not so with pop, people! The liner notes always say Written by Christina Aguileara with someone but I seriously question Ms. Aguilera?s participation in the process. The fact that she?s got her name in there, was she in the room when it was being written and composed or in the general vicinity? ?Okay, okay?here in the second verse I?ll throw in a Auwwww!? ?Oh, yeah Christina, that?s perfect! Now you can be a co-writer!?

The backlash from all this manufactured human creativity will be severe and I?m not sure exactly what direction it will take. At some point, people are going to stay ?Enough!? and I?d like to think that it will involve the firebombing of the MTV studios in Times Square. To describe the change in the simplest terms, reality (and not the kind you see on MTV or Fox these days) is going to make a big comeback. You think people like to watch reality shows? Try Real Reality ?, the kind where you can smell the guy?s bad breath and body odor as he chords out a nasty version of ?Black Country Woman?. Real Reality is a lot less pretty than Reality, as defined by Television. It?s got nasty smells, days where the checkbook doesn?t balance and has a lot less in it than you wish it did. Real Reality involves beer guts, relationships that don?t work and having to drive a beater to work at a job you had to go to school for while your pop heroes tool around in Ferrari?s with not HALF of the marketable skills you possess. The flip side to Real Reality is that, when it?s going well, it looks better, feels better and IS better than anything you could hope to find in a 3-minute music video. I won?t remember where I was the first time I saw Justin?s new video, but I will always remember the first time I fell in love. That?s the difference between Real Reality and the one they show you every day. It?s also the one they really, really don?t want you to see. The real stuff doesn?t keep you buying CD?s at the mall or buying clothes or pills to make you thinner and fit the mold they?re trying to squeeze you into. It also is not the one that will make you feel like you?re not good enough after you go through all that.

Stick to the real reality people. Stop making yourself miserable and you?ll stop making me miserable as a result.

-Tim Woolery, 4/28/03