TimWoolery.net Documenting the Journey and the Learning Curve

Want to enjoy a happier life?  Want to cut down on the crap that puts your shrink on speed dial and leaves you hunting for cheap Mexican vodka at 4am in a ratty pink housecoat?  Well, now you can!  Here's my amazing new system for making life simple and it comes in 4 easy-to-remember rules, absolutely free.

BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE!

Act now by not responding to this with a bunch of what-if questions, you-mean-to-tell-me-that-if-the-house-was-on-fire hypothetical scenarios and other pointless speculation and you'll be automatically entered into to a raffle drawing to win the Grand Prize - not being de-friended on Facebook, or quietly excluded from social gatherings or being 'that guy' who 'just doesn't get it'.  Want to join the hottest party on the planet?  It's called the human race and there's no cover charge!  Read the following rules and you can start seeing the difference in as little as 2 weeks!

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• If you come with a problem, be prepared to leave with a solution - or just leave: There are some people in my life that I'll do "Don't try to solve it, just listen" thing with, but you aren't one of them.  Don't get me wrong - I like helping people identify the problem and looking for a practical solution.  But there's a difference between asking for help and complaining - I know the difference even if you don't.  People who find problems with no solutions are usually called 'consultants', they get paid for doing nothing and I have very few in my life that remain on a long term basis.
• I don't have room for mentally or emotionally lazy people in my life: Life is busy and short - I must make use of what I have to add value in my life.  If you're here, you will be contributing and participating.  Sorry...I just don't have room in my life for people who want to use my life as a safe place to crash.
• I'm not Henry Kissinger: Got a beef with a mutual friend?  That's a shame; let me know how it turns out.  Yes, I will continue to be friends with them and no, I will not arbitrate your problem.  I will not help you act punitively against them and I will not choose one friend over the other.  This kind of behavior makes sense if you happen to be 13 and you're sitting in the 8th grade lunch room. We're adults now and one would hope that our interpersonal skills have been improved with age.  Suck it up or deal with it - I don't want to watch you do anything else.
• The Three Strikes Rule: You don't get unlimited lives in this game and you can't always back up to your last saved point.  When we're at a point where I have to explain to you why the annoying thing you do is so annoying and then I have to argue with you about whether we're defining the rules correctly and oh wait, I misunderstood you and I need to look at this from your perspective - okay, just stop.  Stop, pick your toys and go home - the play date is over.

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It's become clear to me that some people need life skills that I don't have the time or the ability to impart.  I happen to be one of those people - or was and am trying not to be [recovering drama-holic over here].  I see these people in real life, on Facebook and out in public.  The simple rules of life have evaded them and every interaction has an added cost that I have to make up the difference for elsewhere.  I don't think that's right - I have enough to do and to cope with.  You may be a socially maladjusted individual in dire need of some help.  Even if you are ... this doesn't make everyone into your  parent and/or life coach.  You are not entitled to ignore the information because it wasn't packaged in such a way that it was geared specifically to something that you will understand.  Life doesn't work that way - the smart animals learn to listen and figure out what danger sounds like.  The dumb ones end up in the stew.

Sounds like I'm trying to set myself up as an arbiter of society, right?  Sounds like I'm trying to 'cut you off', right?  Wrong.  Took me a while to figure this one out too.  This is, in fact, how society deals with behavior that it finds unacceptable for some reason.  You aren't enough of a jerk to throw in prison but you are very unpleasant to be around - so what do we do?  We put you in a little mental box that keeps you from being a threat to yourself or other people.  There is no high court of human behavior - a fact I've noticed that some persons use their advantage.  They act like jackasses and hide under the "was that wrong?  Should I not have done that?" excuse.

So, get the clue: It isn't about 'being mean' or finger-pointing.  I'm not trying to be mean or cut you off but the fact is that you are taking way, way too much energy to get along with and I would prefer that you do this somewhere else, with someone else and rejoin the group after you have learned how to make a contribution.  You're being given a time-out and, if that bothers you, you might want to use the time to think about what you want to do differently next time.