I’ve switched jobs several times over the past 18 months as one position ended.  In the process of doing so, I found myself working several jobs simultaneously in one of the worst economies of the past 70 years.  Existing became a full-time job and I’ve learned a lot about life along the way.  

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is the idea of story.  People communicate through stories and so I have become a professional artisan of narrative as I created messaging as a tech and advertising project manager.  You can learn more about the mechanics of it by watching this very interesting talk by Nancy Duarte:

Having learned about how people process information, about keep the message simple so that more people can understand it, I stumbled on some larger truths that I’ll dive into at a better time.  There are some takeaways:

• Keeping the message simple means that you don’t always get to tell your side of the story.
• Not being able to tell your side of the story means that you consciously let go of short-term gains for long-term wins.
• Very few people (if any) want to hear the whole story, anyway.

• I save butts, I don’t wipe butts
• I manage projects, not drama
• Manage to the gauges, keep your hands on the levers
• I may be good at taking garbage but that doesn’t mean I only accept garbage

I’m involved in some new projects now that you should be aware of.  I’m helping this guy sell his book: (http://www.flotillaonline.com/facebook/) and I’m coming up on one year with the Aspire Company as Chief Sales Officer.  Trying to put it all into words is almost impossible.

I’ll see what comes of it – might be some great things to share very shortly.  Or not.  You never really know when you’re me.

I was on the Embarcadero yesterday in record-setting heat.  Seriously … picture the scene: Pier 23, 95 degrees, no shade.   The vintage street cars on the F-Line are great, normally, but in the heat all you do is wish for air conditioning.  At least you get to meet nice people – lots of tourists from all over the world ride that stretch.  Met a nice couple from Spokane and then helped a young family from Sydney get their pram off the trolley (their words, not mine).

But what does it all mean?

That’s the question I struggle with.  Trying to pull meaning out of any of this and see it from a larger context … that’s difficult. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one.  A lunchtime visit from my aforementioned friend reminded me of where he was six or seven years ago and where I was, too.  I think we both would agree that we’re in better places, even if that means we don’t see each other that often.

He was in town for a buddy’s wedding – he and his group of friends are at a stage of life where they’re taking the plunge and the rest are going through a quarter-life crisis.  I recall a conversation with an older co-worker in his late 50s.  After telling him about my weekend – helping a friend clean up his rental unit and get his deposit back – he laughed ruefully.  ”Stages of life,” he said.  ”You’re helping your friend clean up his rental and I’m giving my friend’s eulogy this weekend.”  Out of his circle of friends, one finally kicked off after a lifetime of bad health choices.  His comment gave me some insight into this portion of my life and I think it’ll have to do.

Navigating this world isn’t simple – sometimes you can feel paralyzed by the negative thoughts.  If you haven’t experienced them, they sound a little like this:

• “Oh my God … what if I choose wrong?”
• “Oh, no!  That thing I rolled the dice on isn’t working – I’m such an idiot!”
• “Everything is going wrong – when will this get better??”

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

It’s weird how Facebook will help you re-connect with parts of the family that haven’t seen each other in generations.  From time to time, things will happen that make me glad I spent all that time documenting my family history.  Last Friday would be one example …

So – I’ve talked about my great-grandfather, his bootlegging and how he died.  For the rest of my family, there are other stories like my great-uncle Delmer (seen here, 2nd from left … next to my Granddad).  He died young, the victim of a weak heart due to rheumatoid fever.  His son, Del Jr., never had much contact with the family after that … they lost touch in the late 50s and that was the end of the story.

Until now.

I commented on a Dear Prudie column this week and my comment was liked by someone named Kathie Woolery.  The following is how the conversation went – with no edits whatsoever.  You can’t see my original question (“I wonder if we’re related”) but the rest is all there:

I called and spoke with Del Jr. for a half an hour and we were both tickled pink to speak with each other.  He’s sending some family pictures and I’m doing the same … there was so many things that he didn’t know about our family that I was able to tell him.  He lives, for example, in Blue Springs, MO – 90 miles away from where our family lived over 200 years ago.  Kathie told me that she’s had a hard time keeping in touch with everyone and laughed when I said “It’s the only thing Woolerys do well – not keeping in touch with each other.”

Some of us do and it’s magic every time.